A friend on Facebook posted a link to Whoopie Goldberg’s LBL video about Great Women in History.  It’s a cute and funny presentation about LBL, light bladder leakage.  She posted it the week I had my giant coughing going on, so I could totally relate.  I reposted the video and wrote: “A good post from a friend. And yes kegels exercises work if you work them. If your winter coughing makes you nervous in public, protect yourself.”  Then I decided I’d try an experiment.

I’ve got an elderly aunt who cares for herself, and at 85 she is still continent.  That means she is able to get to the bathroom when she needs to, and isn’t afraid to leave the house for fear she might accidentally wet herself.  I realize in the senior community that is a giant freedom.  I notice as I get older, there is less lead time between the time my brain signals me I need to urinate, and when I actually need to do it.  No accidents or close calls yet, but I listen to my body and I don’t mind using public restrooms. I also am not embarrassed about things like that, and I realize that many of the older generation IS too embarrassed to mention it.

It took a 20 ounce bottle of water

So I decided to do an experiment. I love experiments.  I went to WalMart and checked out the selection of bladder control pads.  They talked about advanced core leak blocks and sure-dry layers.  I bought the Poise size Moderate Long, the Options brand size Maximum and the Options size Light. 

Let the experimenting begin!

I took 2 cups of water and, one by one opened up each pad, held it in one hand while I poured water into it.  The Options size Light took a cup of water easily. I was surprised since it was a small, light pad.  I could have poured more into it but it seemed at saturation point. The Poise size Moderate and the Options size Maximum each took 20 oz of water each.

Afterward, I didn’t want to throw all that water into the trash, so I held the pad over the sink to try to squeeze the water out.  Not a drop!  Ok, so I guess that’s the point.  I took a sharp knife to the pad and cut into it.  A weird kind of gel foamish something had soaked up all the liquid and even cut, still it would not give up the water.

I told my aunt about the experiment and showed her my results.  I forgot that the topic might mortify her, and it did.  Sorry, Tia!  But I like to know how a product performs, especially a product that you’d depend upon in an emergency.  Now I know for a long road trip, or just the loop around Atlanta during drive time traffic, I can be totally prepared, even after cups of tea and bottles of water.

That experiment let me know that I could completely wet myself, an entire bottle of water’s worth, and not ruin my clothes, my car seat or my dignity. Of course I’d be 3″ taller from sitting on the saturated pillow that the pad would turn into, but, hey, small price I guess, right?  At least it would buy me extra time to get off the road and find a public restroom.

It might be my generation, but I don’t get the whole “not talking about it” thing. We grew up in the encounter culture where we discovered the way to get over inhibitions, phobias and hang ups was to talk about it.  We learned you don’t go to your death not having said things you wanted to say, not having asked questions you wanted to ask, not asking if there was an alternative way to do what you wanted to do if you felt physically incapable of doing something.  We learned if we keep it in, it could kill us.

We learned that no matter what it was, to talk it out. Bodily functions, fears about relationships, being alone, aging, changing and dying.  Talking it out relieves the stress of it.  When you relieve the stress, you’ve probably relieved 90% of the problem right away.  Because the source of the stress is your continued thoughts about it.

As for me, I’m stoked knowing there’s a product out there that totally works.  I like being prepared in case of emergencies.  And if I’m lucky, just like being prepared for the hurricane that never strikes, either way I win.

And no, I’m not going to say bring it on.  I know better.

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