I asked on Facebook, “When you first became aware of being on a spiritual path, did your sex drive increase, decrease or stay the same?” Mine would swing from zero to overload. Using breath meditation, I learned to distribute the prana, the chi, the kundalini, the energy, throughout the system so it was easier to integrate. What we feel as sexual energy is simply the flow of life force energy focused in a particular energy center (chakra) of our body. As we walk along the spiritual path, our focus of attention will begin to take us on a journey through all the chakras. In time you’ll learn which chakras you are currently focused in, where there is a free flow of energy. If you are polarized in a particular area, you’ll know it because you’ll notice the symptoms and take measures to correct them.
Learning about the chakras helped me a great deal, so I knew what was at play underlying my urges and behaviors. Such as, some signs of 1st chakra imbalance are feelings not belonging, feeling unable to cope, nagging insecurities, no sense of community, worry, inability to sustain energy levels, lacking in drive and enthusiasm, easily drained by company, feelings of discontent with home, career, struggling to meet life’s basic needs, feelings of not having enough, being distrustful and insecure, hyperactivity, inflammation, physical tension, inability to relax, anger, fear, confusion, mood swings, impatience, anxiety, fidgeting, intolerance, violent outbursts. I learned helpful suggestions to balance the 1st chakra: Walk and garden so you can get close to nature. Create a home you feel safe and secure in. Make amends to those you’ve cheated. Make peace with your family of origin. Eat nutritiously and be physically active every day. I was surprised how “remedies” like that could work, until I finally REALLY GOT that it’s all related. For real.
At several stages I chose to be celibate for years at a time and would use the raising shakti/kundalini from thinking about my secret crushes to fuel my meditations and creative projects. I felt guided into a relationship every few years, some walked the Path with me, some left that part of my life to me alone. It was nice when we were in the work together, knowing that cultivating the feeling of “being in love” without expectation of end result, would create the fuel to power the attraction process in our lives. If we were able to stay mindful and keep the feeling generated even despite circumstances, it could be a very powerful learning tool for both. It’s rare and beautiful to find someone in the work who has enough control over their emotional body to understand that. Still looking. Soul work is powerful and life altering. Not everyone has the strength to develop the willpower for the discipline to stand back up after the shattering of the personality. When it happens, it’s immensely fulfilling.
I’d go a dozen years living alone to short segments of cohabitation, although not because of desire for companionship. I never felt a lack of that. All of these relationships helped me hone my personality into what it is today. Today there are far fewer layers and filters between my face and the real me. I thank and honor every partner I’ve ever had for helping unmask me.
A friend recently remarked he noticed the deeper he got into self reflection, the lower his sex drive. I told him that’s a common trait to those on the Path. The questioning begins, then the kundalini begins rising and the energy begins moving inside you and you may be over stimulated, you may get very verbal, you may stay up all night writing or thinking or researching the symptoms of what you feel going on inside of you. The lack of sex drive, not to worry, ebb and flow; it’s all ebb and flow.
If on the other hand you find yourself overly stimulated sexually, a regular breathing practice is important, whether you have a partner or not. With twice daily practice, in a short period of time you’ll begin to feel the energy rise up from your sacral center and be distributed throughout your torso and limbs, as you breathe it up consciously with slow, deep breaths and controlled exhales. Breathe in deeply and draw the energy up into your heart. Feel it move up your body, then exhale it through the top of your head. Just a few minutes of this a few times a day will activate an initiation within you, and you will begin to draw answers out of yourself to all the questions that come to you.
Regular, steady breathing also de-stresses you, and helps you gain more control over your emotions. Crazy ideas may come, your mind emotionally reacts to them, your thoughts attract particular life circumstances to you, you work through them and gain tools to overcome them: this is the work of personality integration. This is the work of self realization.