I was sitting on my 80 year old uncle’s front porch the other day, rocking in our chairs, and he asked me, “Don’t you want someone to sit with at the end of the day, just to watch the sun go down and drink tea with?” I thought, “Sure, I do. It’s the other 23 hours a day maintenance that is too big a price to pay.” He was married to the same woman his whole life, until she died a few years ago. After their kids were grown, they did everything together. I like so much alone time and quiet time, that kind of life isn’t for me. My man would have to be able to entertain himself on his own half the time and be happy not chatting very single day. Uncle said my punishment will be to find a boyfriend just like I am. He might be right. (He was.) Right after this conversation, I had two calls where I gave them the process to attract a new and improved relationship, and here it is for you.
Of course, the next two counseling sessions I had after that are women who want to attract a relationship into their life. Vibrational match coming on the heels of Uncle’s talk. And during our sessions, in uncovering the sources of their resistance, doing the process will make me lay bare my own as well. We proceed to go down the list of what qualities are important, and what we notice about men that we like. Whether we see them at work or on tv or at the movies or just out in public, what about them attracts our attention?
We do this to begin vibrating in a place of attracting choices. We look for what we want. We take note of what is pleasing around us. We spend a little time basking in each thought. I like the confidence of that one, I like the humor of that one, I like how that one dresses, I like the physical appearance of that one, I like that this one is artistic, I like the spontaneity of that one. “Thinking thoughts like this“, I coach my two callers, “gets you resonating in that vibrational stance that will attract more of the same to you.
Most of the evening was spent talking on this topic, to give them a kick start to begin their own attraction process. Every time I do this work, I begin to notice the men around me. I don’t have someone else do a process that I’m not doing myself. Some of the things I notice I like are:
Men with good hygiene, who can look presentable when it’s called for. Shaggy or buttoned down, height, weight, age are not an issue, but I appreciate someone who is relatively healthy and mobile. I am enlivened by someone who has a lively interest in… something. It could be computer things or garden things or things I don’t understand. His interest in it will spark my interest in it. I like when someone shows they are interested in me as a person and in what I do.
I appreciate that Chuck my computer guy knows all this neat techie stuff that I would like to know more about. I like that Beth’s husband Gerald is the strong, silent type; always nearby willing to lend a hand, just out of sight, working on his own things, never one for idle chitchat. I like how cute Beth and Gerald act together, you can tell they have fun and are glad to be partners. I appreciate that in Doug and Trish as well, and how they are always going on little local adventures together. I appreciate Doug’s resourcefulness as a steward of the land, always doing garden projects, always doing wood projects and solar projects, always finding something to tinker with and fix. I appreciate his flexibility in going with the flow, and I appreciate his courage in forging new paths. I appreciate him being a goofball and fun play pal. I appreciate my brother’s dedication to his family and that he’s a wizard at making things work out.
I appreciate my neighbor across the street who walks 8 miles a day. I appreciate Gajendra’s devotion to teaching yoga and to Mataji. I appreciate how Bo plays the fiddle and guitar. I appreciate that Frank will sit and study and discuss esoteric philosophy all day. I appreciate that Doug likes to talk things out and never argues. I appreciate that while Tom likes to have a drink and a smoke, he does it responsibility and it’s never an issue. I appreciate Paradise Dave’s Alabama accent. I appreciate that while Ed and I have different political and spiritual views, we simply stay off those topics and it’s never an issue. I appreciate that Noah, while too shy to talk much in person, will email and instant message me fun conversations about his day. I appreciate that these men all have a form of income that lets them support themselves. These are not men I date, these are the men around me, husbands of friends, neighbors, and this is my sample list of what I appreciate about the men around me. That’s part of the exercise I’m doing with the two new clients, finding things to appreciate about the men where you are on a daily basis. To get in the vibe. That helps me attract it quicker.
I’ll have to give some thought as to what my type is anymore. I’ve learned there can be so many variables. It’s not what it used to be – always falling into the fixer uppers. I can fix this one. I can fix that one. I don’t fix anymore. Now I look for what feels easy and drama free. Of course, the shy geek and the scholarly monk type is always a contender. As I keep an eye out on purpose now, I will see who I attract because that will tell me where I am vibrating. At every stage of the game.