Iyanla Vanzant  said “until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them. The moment we have a negative experience we get stuck in what was done and how it was done to us. We must learn not to take life so personally. People are not really out to get us. Let us learn to give up anger and fear by replacing those things with love.”
Not everyone has the strength to open their wounds and make peace with their past. Arrogance is usually false bravado disguising insecurity. First striving to please, they mock when the road gets bumpy, they hold grudges and burn bridges. Prayers on smoke and wind that they find strength and understanding that eases their pain.