I don’t have the “romantic partner for life” dream. That makes life so much easier because I have fewer dashed expectations. It’s easier – not to mention more productive and time efficient – to have secret crushes, keep to myself and tend to business. I didn’t know this was how I was going to feel at this age. I used to always be in a relationship, one after another. I loved it and them. But in my 30’s that began to change and I began to want more time to myself. Who I was was expanding and I needed more space between my molecules. I wanted more silence and less in-person interaction. I became more aware that what I think and do and say in the moment has power beyond anything I thought possible. That when those 3 are in sync, what I give out and what I get back is always instantaneous — and I can make it good and I can make it bad.
I became less interested in having romantic, sexual relationships as I became more interested in studying the things I was becoming interested in, comparative religions, the writings of Yogananda, Joel Goldsmith, Helena Blavatsky, Rudolph Steiner, Alice Bailey, Annie Besant, Ma Yoga Shakti, names I’ve forgotten but lessons learned. Twice I met partners who were into the work and those were intense and exciting times, and very accelerating. But for me, the Path is best walked alone.
I have friends whose lives are not too much different than mine, except they hold the dream of spending their golden years with a beloved other. I tell them the trick is to get so busy and happy in your Now life that you barely notice you don’t have a partner, then one (or more!) will show right up for you.
I began to see partners as steps on the path rather than the destination. I entered into each one thinking, this is it, this is my partner for life. Then at some point how I felt changed and I wanted to be alone again. When I began to see the pattern, I stopped pair bonding. Less heartache for both when intentions change.
The bottom line is, I’m living happily ever after and did not need a Prince to get me there. You can, too. You’ll find your own way. Email me at horizonsmagazine@gmail.com if you want to chat about your journey.