I have to tell on myself.  This is an example of  purposely transforming a grumpy thought into a better feeling one. I wrote earlier about getting ticked a friend would not put things on the calendar so I’d know ahead of time I had to drive out. I also wrote about how I ended my aggravation once and for all by just no longer expecting them to do anything. So this morning I hit the floor running, a 14 hour long, busy day yesterday.  Four hours into today, I realize it’s almost 10:00am, when we have to leave to take Domino to work.  I wake my friend and say “it’s 5 minutes until 10am, are you up?” and he says, “I am now.”  Another call comes in, I take it and get lost in work.  Ten minutes later he’s still not here.  WTF?

I remember I didn’t make coffee and think there’s no time, he’ll have to get it at work,  all the while thinking how irresponsible to not wake up in time for work nor be concerned that he’s going to be late.  I would rehash the entire laundry list of everything I was ever aggravated about with him, except I release all that stuff every full moon.  But I was ticked enough in the Now with him that any past transgressions were irrelevant.  Then I call again and he tells me he doesn’t have to  go to work until 4:45pm.  As soon as he said it, I remembered he’d mentioned it last week.  Had I not so quickly gone to the incoming phone call and cut him off, he would have told me then.  But that’s not what I attracted out of him.

As it turns out, I’d just last night placed something else on the calendar that was a priority.  I thought he’d see that as an excuse or punishment.  The reason I had that  thought was because that was my experience growing up: always being threatened with punishment by a bipolar and passive aggressive father.  Bless him for that, he made me strong. Anyway, I began to add one grumpy thought to another and 3-4 thoughts in, I caught myself and saw what I was doing.  Focusing on blaming him for once again wasting my time.  I stopped and laughed at myself. What? Wasting like 10 minutes of my day fretting over it uncessarily, yet freeing up my entire day?  Blame him for making my weekend unexpectedly start NOW?  I knew that later time of day he could grab a ride into work with his roomie, so all was well.  The only part that wasn’t: was the ten minutes I allowed myself to blame and judge and react without thinking.  My thought is, hey? Only ten minutes? I’ve come a long way, baby.