How I ended my aggravation with Domino once and for all so we can live happily ever after | Andrea de Michaelis – Creating my own reality, one thought at a time

A while back, Domino and I butted heads. Being an Aries times five, I’ve got a well-developed head butt. Being passive aggressive, I didn’t let him know at the time and to the extent that something irked me. Here’s how I fixed that so it will never be a problem again. One thing I’d get irked about was when a future appointment wasn’t placed on the calendar, so I could schedule around it. It happened repeatedly. My inner tyrant argued that since he was being irresponsible, that put more work on me. I didn’t like the feel of that. The more I thought about it, the more I came up with things he did to cause me more work: dishes, clothes not hung up. The more I thought about it, the worse those thoughts felt. (Because my choice of focus was attracting more things to be aggravated about, that’s why that didn’t feel good.) How do you turn around a thought without the other person being made to do your bidding?

I solved it the same as I solved the question of who picks up the socks in the middle of the floor? The answer is: whoever is bothered by the socks should pick them up. I asked myself, what would be different if I didn’t expect him to do the things he wasn’t doing anyway? That felt very free. It moved him from resident to guest status, and all that it entails. It made me notice I’d unconsciously made a distinction between the two and assigned him a category. Interesting to watch my mind as it catches an incongruency and then to witness the unfolding and evolution of thought as it morphs into understanding and guidance. The answer was simple: Expect nothing from him, don’t expect him to recall dates or times or ask him to buy bread on the way home, don’t expect him to make coffee or clean up, don’t expect him to empty his ashtray or take out the trash. Don’t expect him to be anything other than who he is, and be around him as long as it’s fun and fulfilling. This way, when he does anything, it’s a gift. All I had to remove was my expectation of what he should take responsibility for and stop judging him for failure to comply, albeit with rules he knew nothing of. Problem solved!

Now it’s like a new awakening within a thousand years friendship. Each visit is like the honored Guest has come to town and I get joy in the pleasing. When I wash a dish now, it’s an honor and when I pick up a towel, that’s a blessing. Our topics now revolve around what’s going on right now, in front of us. Sometimes that’s just work, family and Facebook. We don’t talk about past issues, we don’t have expectations of how the other should be living, once again it’s all good and the magic is back.

The magic, yes, the magic. I’m a person who knows the power of imagination and of seeing my life as enchanted and mystical. I’ve experienced enough of the other world to know that my thoughts have power and they can make my future come to life. Every day I am learning deeper depths of understanding of what it is I actually want (if I feel under supplied) and how to change my thoughts in order to achieve a physical outcome.

When I remember this, I feel powerful beyond measure. When I allow myself to hold on to past emotional issues and triggers once I recognize I have them, that feels like too heavy a burden to bear. I am all about lightening the load all along the journey. Once I dropped my expectations, the magic returned. For me, the magic lies in those in between places. Those places, those people, those relationships that you can’t categorize, and where the imagination can fill in the blanks any way we wish.

So, the answer? Ask yourself seriously just what you expect from your friend and why. Just contemplate that thought for a few minutes. Ask for guidance to come to you and be receptive to and take note of impressions of thoughts not your own.

The answer for me was to revise and halt the expectation. Period. It worked. I have my bestie back and we’re enjoying recognizing, coming clean and dropping thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve us.

May it ever be so.