How do you know when to take someone in and when to leave it to the professionals? What if someone you barely know tells you you are the only one he can turn to? What if his own family members refuse to take him in? What if he threatens suicide or makes a comment about breaking into the home (his wife has legally restrained him from going into) and taking a rifle and shooting her? Or is it a duty to God to help everyone who asks for it? How do you know which it is? Do you let him into your home with your family in such a mindset? Or do you call professionals who know how to deal with situations like this to get him the help he sorely needs? I made this post of Facebook as this was happening with a friend of mine. I emailed him: “I don’t want to get into your business but xxx asked me what I would suggest in the situation with the gentleman you are helping. I wanted to email the info to you so you could read it over and really understand the situation. I know you’re being compassionate but you also may be putting your family at jeopardy. I have 22 years as a criminal defense paralegal and during that time we represented many defendants who displayed the same behavior which friends and family ignored when they should have been taken as red flags and a violent outburst with dire consequences could have been avoided.”
This man has already mentioned hurting himself or others. His statements are saying, “I have a violent feeling inside me and cannot predict how it will express itself.” You do not want this man around your family. You have already taken him to Circles of Care and told the receptionist he threatened to commit suicide, and you were told they could possibly admit him. Did you call to ask the facility why they turned him away? It could be that he simply walked away without going in.
He tells you he has no one else to help him. I have done my share over the years of helping those in the same situation, only to later realize I was not doing dharma for God, I was preventing someone from not only their own karma but from getting the help they needed, which I, as a non-professional, was not equipped to give them.
You must ask yourself why he could not ask anyone but you for help. What must have happened through the years with everyone else he knew to get him to this point?
The several times afterward that he’s shown up at your office expecting you to take him in, you did. You’ve done more than your share. Believe me, ten years ago I would be telling you it was your duty to man to take in whoever asked for help. I’ve seen it too many times and you’re putting your family in jeopardy if you continue it.
I just re-read this and it sounds very harsh to me, but this is a serious situation and I’ve too many times seen others hurt by this type of individual. Your best bet might be to call local law enforcement and ask them what you should do since he keeps showing up and finding you. Do not have this man is in your home.”