Armand Della Volpe writes, “Getting close really fast makes it 99% more likely that we will experience heavy emotional drama.” I agree, as that has been my experience. I usually dawdle for years with secret crushes. There is such exquisite delight in unfolding someone slowly. My impetuous times were rewarded with big drama.  A friend just found out the one he thought was ‘the one’ lived a double-life. He thinks they’ve parted as friends. I suggested he let it cycle thru. An ex and I parted amicably, then 2 months later it was a different story. Armand wrote, “We recently learned a couple we thought were compatible with us were in fact not. It took 18 months for all of our pain bodies to surface.” I found that relevant. It took 18 months of daily interaction before I saw my ex’s real personality.  I criticized his deception then but I was the one ignoring red flags. I now realize how difficult it must have been for him to keep his pain body in check and the mask in place for all that time.  My current mate paid the price by me not early on blindly trusting.  We’ve taken our time getting to know each other. Ten months, no red flags, no drama. The unfolding has been delicious.  While getting close really fast can feel right, my experience is the drama is never worth it.

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