End of flu yay! I slept a restful 4 hours last night and drank 19 oz of water and Cranberry Emergen-C between midnight and 6am.   I feel much revitatilized and replenished.  I knew one reason my muscles were sore was because I was dehydrated.  It’s hard to stay hydrated when nothing stays down *smile*  And my tummy hasn’t spazzed out for hours!!!+  In between times when I was watching the clock and waiting for it to pass, I did some deep breathing every hour to keep my cells oxygenated.  Even the slightest amount of yoga stretching took such exertion and wore me out, even when I was reclining.  I knew that was because the cells of my muscles needed hydration.

I remember being back in the hospital, both in October of December 2004 I spent eight days each in Palm Bay Community Hospital.  As I awaited surgery for gallbladder pancreatitis, they had me on an IV for fluids and on some mega pain killers.  Of course with those kinds of medications, I wasn’t sleeping or resting as much as I was just zoned out for a week.  Since I didn’t have to stay in bed, and I’ve never been a recreational sleeper, I’d be up several times a day doing yoga stretches and walking laps around the entire hospital second floor during the midnight hours, IV cart in hand.

I didn’t have a lot of energy, since I was unable to eat for that week, but the painkillers gave me that nervous tension that makes you restless, makes you want to be moving around.  Tired and wired is how I describe it – it kept me very animated.

I had to keep reminding myself that I was not on an IV here at home and had to depend on what I was able to keep in my stomach in order to stay hydrated.  I also didn’t have that false confidence of “oh, everything is fine” that the painkillers give, so I had to keep reminding myself not to push my body too far.  I knew my priorities were (1) keep my brain activated via oxygen and glucose and (2) keep my body cells hydrated via fluid.  I knew that as long as I could think and move, the rest would work itself out.

I had a dream once, once of those dreams that sticks with you forever. In the dream, I am wandering around an open pasture kind of landscape, not really seeing anything, but not particularly seeking anything either. In the dream, along comes my father, who was a carpenter, and he’s carrying his carpenter’s box and he opens it for me. I look into it and think “what on earth will I do with this?” So then it becomes like this magic box that anything came come out of and even though it just looks like 3 boards and a handful of nails and hammers and saws, out of those few items he could create all sorts of things.  And all I had to do was keep the box with me and at the proper time, I would have everything I needed to do whatever needed to be done. My job was just to carry the tools, no matter how awkward and burdensome, and the rest would work itself out.

So that was what I was doing after this little flu bug.  I knew my tools were: knowing to (1) keep my brain activated via oxygen and glucose and (2) keep my body cells hydrated via fluid.  I knew that as long as I could do that, the rest would work itself out.

I realize in later years of course how symbolic the dream was on so many levels. I think right now, the main tools I strive to keep with me at all times are (1) discipline over my state of consciousness, and (2) my awareness of my connection with Source because, just like above, if I have those two, then everything else works itself out.

When I can bring myself into the awareness of my connection to my own internal guidance, I feel very powerful and motivated. My general goals are to have a happy life, to be healthy, to be self sufficient, to be well thought of, to share love with friends and to do meaningful work. So when I have the presence of mind to remember these things, it all falls into place. So I guess that’s my tool box.

Almost 7:00am, it’s beautiful out there and about 60 degrees at daybreak in Central Florida. It got cold enough last night that I closed my windows.

Big full moon tonight, actual full moon time is 11:37am I love to watch the full moon each month as it crosses the sky. I like to step outside every few hours and look up in the sky and see how far she’s gotten, where she is now, how much more to go before she disappears behind my west wall of woods.

During nice weather, sometimes overnight I will lie outside for hours jut watching the moon move across the sky. Not looking directly at it very intensely for too long of course since it can be very bright, but basking in its ancient glow. A little bit of moon tan can do me lots of good.

And right now, what will be me lots of good is another nap. Magazine is almost done!