Thursday May 7, 2009.  Should I warn friends and family when I see them getting caught up in multi-level marketing schemes, and networking time-and-dollar-wasters?  Questions like this come up in readings all the time.  You have friends who belong to a national franchise named Wealth Something or Income Building Something and they are always running around to meetings and business workshops where they pay for their own training, in the hopes of beginning their own business, or meeting up with possible investors or partners.  They come away with lots of marketing materials and/or inventory, thousands upon thousands in fees on their credit card, and their heads filled with exaggerated income claims.

I know people who are involved, and I do readings for many of them.  I have friends who belong as well, so I get a lot of unsolicited input on the topic.   Some of them have been at it a decade or more.  The bottom line?  Personally, I have not heard a valid success story yet.  No one I know who is involved has built a working business, or expanded their business or expanded their scope of financial supporters from what they’ve learned or whom they’ve met.   Many, after they leave years later, feel they just got de-programmed from a cult and are shocked at how many thousands of dollars and hours of valuable time they’ve lost in the process.   Why didn’t friends and family warn them, they usually want to know.

I believe warning is a two edged sword.  What you warn someone about is what you focus their attention on.  I don’t warn visitors to my home that there are snakes in the yard.  Why even put their attention there?  Why take their full attention from the beauty of the gardens by having them search for a snake where they may not even be one?

I know that what someone else has experienced in the past does not have to be my experience now or in the future.  I know that someone who is just getting into say, IBI/CEO, does not have to have the same experience as someone I met years ago named Will.  Will’s story is such a classic example and I found this online that says it well.   So do I tell them or not?

I personally, if they are friends, simply ask periodically how they are progressing.  They either tell me the truth, or they give me the pre-programmed rap.  In either case, unless they are asking me for advice, I say nothing.  I help encourage them in what is already working for them.  I cheerlead them on to checking out other opportunities.  I help them identify who in their life adds to it and helps bring meaning and why.  I do this by asking who around them upgrades their life.  Who around them does not.

Groups like this can be a good stepping stone into getting out among people and learning to promote yourself.  It forces you into groups that are made to interact with each other in specific exercises.  You learn a lot of things you would not otherwise learn about dealing with each other.

If they serve to inspire you to what could be, that’s always helpful.  If you hear interesting speakers and are around supportive people, that’s always helpful.  If you like the whirlwind life of travelling from place to place with the same people in and out of town, and paying for workshops to study theoretical marketing techniques and don’t have to earn an income, it will keep you busy.   You’re the only one who knows if that’s an upgrade to your life or not.

So on one hand, people are feeling deceived and scammed and foolish after waking up from years of workshops and hype that got them nowhere.  They feel they wandered into the wrong crowd of people and they got caught up in the hype and momentum.  However, they simply vibrated into their path and drifted downstream on someone else’s river for awhile.  The good news is they are on the other side of it now, so much the wiser.

On the other hand, some people are still doing the workshop dance, the hardsell hype to their friends, and they find it gives them a social life they didn’t have before. Just having a social life can be really important to help people stay motivated.  If people stay motivated, they’ll get inspirations along the way.

So what do you do?  Do you point out they are wasting their time and have been for years, or do you encourage them in their dreams?  What do you think is the most helpful?

Where do you want them to vibrate and how do you help them vibrate there?