Do you give your partner your password and ATM card?

I have 3 sets of friends who are in brand new relationships with people they just met.  In relationship to the point of having joint bank accounts and sharing passwords. (Two things I never do, by the way – ever.)  Now suddenly there are issues about passwords being changed and money possibly missing.  This has been going on for over a week now and at this point it seems something else is at play also. If there is a misunderstanding and you think a friend has stolen money from you, you confront them.  You ask them about it before you start speculating to other people. Then you simply call the bank and the same day they will email you your account activity report and you will know. And as soon as you know, if you have wrongfully accused your partner to a friend, go to that friend and let them know you were wrong. Do not let them think for a moment that someone has stolen from you when they have not.  Reputations are ruined on false accusations like that.  You don’t want that karma. 

There is something wrong with the story if it is days later and there is no word back from the bank.  I help people deal with this kind of thing all the time, and all it takes is a simple call.  This is the electronic age.  Customer service 24/7.  If you’ve got someone calling the bank for you, make the call yourself to be certain.

Don’t trust someone else to make the call for you.  I’ve seen many a time when a new spouse would create false drama over a situation so that s/he could be the untangler of the mess and be the hero. So why not first ask the person you think stole from you?  Why not immediately call and ask the bank?  Maybe you’ll call and learn it was just a password misspelling fumble and no money is missing after all.

You don’t want the karma of maligning the reputation of an innocent person by not determining right away if the money was even missing in the first place.  People talk. If you speculate to a friend that your partner – or anyone – has done something dishonest, if you find out it is not true, tell them that also.  Tell them that loud and clear.  Then everybody just shake hands and move on from it.

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