Sunday, March 22, 2009.  Happy Sunday.  I spend much of yesterday out in my far backyard, clearing out some vines and limbs I’d cut back in November.  Since keeping up with the yard is a big job, I do it in stages.  Last November, I  cut back a lot of vines and tangled branches in the turk’s cap and eleagnus shrubs I have.  I pulled out the easy branches, and left the more tangled ones inside, giving a few extra cuts to the vines and limbs all twined together.  So now, in March, it is easy to see the dead limbs and vines; they are dry and lighter and easy to pull out.  I also leave them in there since I know the Mulberry tree will go bare for the next few months, and the turk’s cap and eleganus can act as privacy from my back neighbor if I leave the clippings in.  Last month, the mulberry tree began filling out and that signalled to me it was time to remove the tangle of last winter and make room for the Spring growth.

It made me also think, as I pulled and yanked and untangled, what needed to be pulled out of my own life, that had died long ago and lay drying in a tangle before me in my Now?  A few things came to mind and it felt good to bring them to conscious awareness and acknowledge they no longer had a place in my life.  Sometimes I’m surprised at what comes to mind.  Something I never thought was an issue or thought I’d long ago released.  I do some form of release type practice on a regular basis, every 28 days actually, at the new moon phase.  So I’d think now, decades later, I’d have gotten rid of much of my stuff. LOL Are you laughing, too?

So here I am deep in the shrubbery, hacking away and pulling dead branches out, and taking them to the big pile of dead branches closer to the wheelbarrow.  And pulling more out, and not wanting to walk them all the way the the pile, and creating another stack of deadfall 30 feet from the other limbs.  it took me a couple of hours, but it felt good to have it done.  I stepped back and looked at it, and it was nice and clean and I still had good coverage from the mulberry and arbor vitae.  And just in time for sundown as well!

Then I stepped out of the bush and saw the big mound of deadfall I hadn’t carried to the main pile.  Drat.  It would have only taken another few moments to carry it the extra 30 or so feet to the main stack.  Heck, it would have only taken one minute to walk it right out front to the street where it should have gone months ago.  Instead, now, at the end of my long work day, I had created yet another job for myself which I put off to another day.

Am I just lazy, or so attached to the deadfall being around that I don’t mind how much it clutters up my NOW?  Or do I just get so used to it that I barely notice it anymore and just hope it will disappear on its own with no hand from me?

I think it’s just that when I do it in stages, it seems more manageable.  The job seems more do-able.  Like Abraham-Hicks says, “You can eat an elephant one bite at a time.”

I used to have a lot more elephants to eat than I do now.  More baggage to clear.  Once I grew up and got over myself, I realized what caused the baggage and stopped creating so much of it.  It only took a decade for the momentum of the past to catch up to my Now, so these days it’s almost like instant karma.  I sometimes see cause and effect almost instantly.  I know if I listen to gossip and feel myself taking a side and wanting to do something about it, that is not a place I want to stand. That is not a vibrational setpoint I want to create from. Now I recognize anytime I allow myself to go there, I’ve got some quick backlash coming.

I’m not saying I’ll never stick my head out the car window and open my mouth again, but now I’m prepared to swallow the bugs if I do.

ugh

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