Being Happy With What I Have

A friend asked the other day if I wanted to go shopping with her.  For me, that’s usually an automatic no unless it’s to Home Depot or the produce stand.  I’m not a shopper type of person.  I used to be.  Back when I worked at law offices and had to be at the courthouse very few days for 20+ years, I dressed more professionally, more fashionably and more competitively.  I’d acquired the habit of buying new outfits on a regular basis.  When I became my own boss in 1992, the dress code drastically changed.   It might be pajamas or a swimsuit for weeks in a row.  It might be sarongs and jeans.  I came to realize I had an entire closet full of clothes that I liked, that all fit, and many of which I may not have occasion to wear again.  Given the choice, I am not a corporate suit kinda gal.  So in the first several years, I gave away a lot of my more conservative wear to friends who were still in the workforce.

Little by little, I began buying more jeans and tshirts, more natural fabric goddess garb, yoga wear and some beaded ceremonial type vests and jackets of different traditions.  The perfect place to wear these were the weekly classes and workshops and meetings, the conferences and expos.  Everyone in our circle dressed like that. When it came time to visit Connecticut with my father in law for my husband’s wake, I wished I had at least one dark pinstriped skirt and jacket hidden somewhere in the closet, but did not.  I had horrors of showing up there looking like I belonged at a powwow.  I remember running into WalMart as soon as we got into Hartford so I could find the black cardigan sweater coat that saved the day.  That taught me to stop burning my bridges (and giving away all my clothes when I thought I was done with them.)

I began buying clothes less often, and considering what do I even wear these days?  I have an entire closet now full of clothes that I like, that fit all occasions, that fit perfectly.  I actually have two closets full, maybe 10 each of tops, sweaters, blouses, pants, tshirts, jeans, skirts, dresses, capris, swimsuits, nightwear, hats, shoes.  I have a pair of brown leather boots with 3″ heels that I’ll likely never wear again (size 10) but I like to look at every so often.  I have more athletic shoes, more sneakers, than I do pumps or sandals.  I have some serious walking shoes.  As much as I like to walk, I’ve learned that lesson.

When I go to weed outfits out of my closet, it’s a hard thing to do at this point.  I feel like I’m down to a bare minimum.  I have not worn the 6 pair of khaki and olive capris for over a year, but they are a perfect fit and each go so well with the tops I custom made for each.  Which I also haven’t worn for over a year.   So they are viable, current outfits.  They won’t fit in the back closet because that is where all the beaded ceremonial looking wear is, as well as my several jackets, coats and serious sweaters.  As well as a dozen indian blankets for camping trips.  I’d love to have more room in my closets but am not yet ready to release anything from them to make room.

So when Frannie asked if I wanted to go shopping, all I could think of was I didn’t have room for anything else at this point.  At this point, I liked all I had and it was enough for me.

I liked the feeling that thought gave me.

Being happy with what I have.