I keep my writing all in one Microsoft Word document, because it’s easy to search when I need to find something in particular I’ve written.  I usually hand copy from the blog into the Word doc every few days, unless it gets really busy.  Today I’m updating all the entries from November 2012 and boy, I see what a ride that was!  I see the ups and downs, I see the fun, I see the wounds, I see the patterns I didn’t see at the time.  Reflection, retrospection can be so illuminating. I see the timeline of where my former mate and I’d had discord and gotten past it as friends, understanding each other.  That is, until a set of new friends convinced him of a lesser understanding, in which case he stopped speaking to me.  I can dig it.  If we’re to be happy, we must go where we feel loved and appreciated.  Their interest is in an area of his life I had no interest in. We are always gravitating to those we are most in harmony with. To avoid being lured with the illusive carrot that never appears, you clean up your past so it doesn’t keep that carrot out of your reach.  In retrospect, everyone will see who everyone is.  This is why I love keeping a blog.  Things I’d completely forgotten about come back to mind and I see situations with an entirely new understanding.  I see my unconsciousness in some writing, I see my mindfulness in others.  I see my journey.  I see what I went through as I was going through it, and where I ended up on the other side of it.  My own journey inspires me since it always clearly reflects my state of mind.  And I can make it good and I can make it bad, depending on my choice of thoughts in the moment.  Depending on where I choose to pivot my thoughts to, to keep me focused in a happy and upbeat frame of mind.  Because only then am I of any good to anyone. And since this life is a journey, I want it to be a fun one and my experience is that it can be.