Aging and Changing – You Can Flow With It and Make It Easy Or You Can Resist It and Be Miserable

Time is a real and constant motion always rolling us along. Tell me who wants to look back on their youth and wonder where those years have gone? That is the bridge for the song I Hope You Dance.   I like it because I like having reminders that time is flying by and to keep making my best use of it.  Reminders for me to extract every bit of good that I want out of it while I have the chance.  I’ve already learned not to worry, so I keep my head in a relatively clear place.  But this is the first year I’ve really noticed my physical form aging.  I’ve noticed a few wrinkles starting, the texture of my skin becoming finer.  I make myself do squatting and floor sitting so I can keep my legs strong.  The constant getting up and down exercises my largest muscles – the quads – on a regular basis.  I wonder what my body would be like if I didn’t do yoga every day the past 30+ years?  I can imagine what my mind would be like had I not done daily meditation for that period. 

I’ve written before about how I changed my eating habits dramatically a few years ago and I have a Healthy Eating blog as well.  That’s the biggest change I’ve made since getting older.  My face is changing.  I have some whiskers that I keep trimmed close to the chin, and a few of the fu manchus trying to start up on either side of my smile.  My mom was always tweezing and shaving, of course she had dark, heavy hair and I’m blonde with fine hair, so it’s not nearly the same.  But I decided early on that I wasn’t going to do that.  Who cares if I have some whiskers?  I think they make me look kind of viking-like.

I’d shaved my legs a dozen times in my 20’s and 30’s but it was so light I mostly didn’t.  No one ever seemed to notice or care.  Hair is there as skin protection and I’m a natural kind of gal, so I mostly leave well enough alone.  I’m 30 pounds heavier than 30 years ago when I was a skinny minnie but it doesn’t bother me and it looks fine.  I am more conscious of my posture now, as slumping over is not only bad form, it makes me look frumpy.  Frumpy I’m not, so I make a point to stand straight and tall.  I make sure not to wear tight clothes since the stuffed sausage is seldom the look I’m going for. When I was fatter I wore baggy clothes, which just made me look bigger.  Now I wear clothes that fit, including tops that are just below my waist, not halfway to my knees.  I wear clothes to show off my shape, even if it is not the same shape I had when I was 30.

More changes. My hearing is different now than it was years ago.  I used to hear old people say how everyone talks so fast that you can’t hear half of what they’re saying, when I thought everyone talked just fine.  Now I know what they meant.  Their mind no longer kept up like it used to is all.  Now when I’m with people I want to hear, I just pay extra close attention, talk less and listen more.  If I’m watching tv, I may have to turn the volume up a little for some shows. Or I can complain about my hearing isn’t what it used to be and I can’t hear this or that, and I miss so much and yada yada yada.  If it gets annoying, I’ll do something about it.  For right now, I’m enjoying having a little less input. Plus trying to keep up with a conversation while filling in the blanks can be a fun puzzle to solve 🙂

My vision is actually getting better right now.  I’m nearsighted, a high minus, which means I can see to read but I need my glasses for driving. But lately I’ve been leaving them off to use the computer, watch tv and when walking around the yard, which is a real freedom.  It may be that my eyes are just going through the see-saw our vision goes through as we get older.  Or maybe I am losing my need for control, my need to see things as sharply as possible.  I’ve found life gets easier when I soften my focus, when I stop focusing on the sharp edges and focus instead to see the bigger picture, like in one of those 3-D posters.  I do find that I like my rooms a little brighter now than I used to, and it takes a moment to adapt to dark and light.

Being near sighted is also good since I can see to put my makeup on.  That’s a real plus as you get older.  You remember your friend’s mother who always had her lipstick smeared beyond her lips, and didn’t seem to realize it?  She didn’t because she couldn’t see it. She was far sighted, like most people are, so she needed glasses to put her lipstick on and she didn’t use them.  She doesn’t know it looks like that unless you tell her.  And please tell her.

The same with lip liner as we get older.  Don’t use darker or brighter colors, that ends up looking garish to people with normal vision.  It may look muted and impressionistic in your mirror to your 50 year old eyes, but it can look frightening or comical to everyone else around you.  If you’re going to use bright lipstick, make sure it is transparent so there is just a pale wash of bright color.  Blot it.  Blot it again.  Smile and blot it again.  No shiny lip gloss.  Shiny and slick looks fine for 10 minutes on older lips, but after that, everyone wants to hand you a tissue.

I’ve discovered the Burt’s Bee’s Luminescent lip shimmers that are a lip balm with a hint of color; I like the Fig.  The Watermelon is the same color as my lips, and just a little too pale. These have very little color, so you need a bright one.  I’ve also used the Wet n Wild Natural Wear Lip Shimmers in the Maple.  These are not heavy lipsticks, so they don’t cake up as the day goes on.  I remember my lips don’t have as much moisture now as when I was younger, so I want to keep them as naturally moist as I can.  Plus for me it’s a much more youthful approach to lip color.

So I can go with the flow as I get older, and make the best of the changes, or I can go kicking and screaming and resisting the whole way. My way is more fun!  Ram Dass had some good insights in Still Here, Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying.

Which way are you going to go?  Can the power of thought stop you from aging?

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