Two childhood friends have the same background of physical abuse, lived and worked side by side their entire lives and both are married. One is emotional and goes to monthly incest and abuse survivor group meetings 20 years later. The other feels the groups keep her sister focused on the past and don’t let her move beyond the victim mentality. She can’t lose the labels. Everyone heals in their own way but her sis wishes she’d get over it and get on with her life as she did. Her advice is to at least try what worked for her. This is what worked for her: Find something else to focus on and get on with her life. She is the only person suffering and she’s giving her power away by continuing on like this. We are the ones that change ourselves. Rehashing old stuff today is not healthy. Shed the victim mentality, become a warrior! Find something salvageable and move forward.