Liars are a friend’s worst – and most popular –disappointment

“In looking back, what in the past have you been the most misguided and/or angered or frustrated about? I’ll have to think about misguided, but I’ve in the past been most frustrated with loved ones who give unsolicited advice on how to fix something I’m not having a problem with. Or who have critical comments about everything.” I posted that on Facebook and most of the responses had to do with lying. One FBF wrote, “It is frustrating to learn that people you thought were nice were really big liars, lying about everything because they are unhappy with their life, so they pretend to be to be one way with one person, another way with another person, and so on. It is really sad for them, but the frustrating part is being fooled, and also finding out that when you are yourself and always speak the truth, the chronic liar acts friendly and nice, but secretly harbors resentment that festers and finally becomes ugly. I try to avoid liars but they are not always so easy to spot…”   

I find that accounts for about half the people I’ve known in my life so if friends now turn out to be the same I wouldn’t be shocked. It’s hard to be unhappy with where you are and to know no other way out of it except to weave stories in the moment to take your mind to a better feeling place. The problem is when someone else hears their words and makes plans and begins action as a result of them, and is left hanging. When I began seeing what was happening, I stopped taking their input into consideration when making decisions. This reminds me that, back to the original question, in the past what I’ve been most frustrated with is people who waste my time for their own entertainment. I’m interested in pursuing a project and they are just interested in talking about it. At this stage of my life, I’m more interested in walkers, not talkers.

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