“Do you believe it’s possible to be in a happy love relationship with someone you aren’t necessarily planning a future with? Just because you adore them and feel highly infatuated, doesn’t mean they fit into the entire equation of the rest of your life, nor you theirs.” I wrote on Facebook.  “The future is NOW. Stay in the Now and the future will take care of itself.”

I  explained to a friend that my experience is that life is lived in a series of short moments and those moments are always Right Now.  Don’t try to bring something or someone into your future at the expense of your Now.  I’ve found my life changes dramatically every three years.  What I’m doing and who I’m doing it with generally morphs about then.  People I thought I wanted to be part of my future did not become so, to our joint relief.  The Universe knows who to put in our life and for what purpose and for how long. That’s why we freak when one thing morphs into another, we think it’s supposed to look one way and stay that way, as in Kryon’s Parable of The Rainbow Room.

I once spent a dozen years without a romantic/sexual relationship because I didn’t want to get intimate with anyone who wasn’t going to be a permanent part of my life. Then I fell off my unicorn and bumped my head on a crystal and woke the heck up: there IS only NOW. In the 90’s, I ruined an awesome relationship by keeping my eyes glued on a future goal that became more important than spending my Now time enjoying what I had with my beloved.  Did I mention I’m a workaholic?  In retrospect, I’ve done the same thing my entire life.

At 60 I’ve seen the pattern often enough to recognize it.  Sure I can change the pattern of thought if I want a different experience; but my journey thus far has been one blessing after another. Knowing this also lets me hold things and people lightly and to release them with joy when the time comes. No matter how much I love the taste of the wild honey, if I never had another taste, my memory bank is full with the awesomeness that I experienced. This attracts more awesome life experiences to me. Like the changing of the colors in the rainbow room parable above, I’m digging the changes and love living in the sliver between the colors.

People do themselves a disservice by denying someone they see no future with.  (At the time I wrote this, I’d been in a  year long relationship.) My current bf and I talk to each other about our dreams and visions and hopes for the future, and they are different futures and different goals.  One reason for that is a 20 year age difference.  In addition to the magazine and my session work, my future includes winding down a little, growing a veggie garden, feeding squirrels and enjoying my homestead.  My bf is focused on developing his music and connecting with other musicians to do projects he has in mind.  Sure, we both think it would be cool to have someone alongside digging the same things we do, but we’re each doing our thang whether the other comes into the future with us or not.

We enjoy our time together and have a loving and fulfilling relationship, but neither of us have relationship as a primary goal or focus.   It’s the icing on the cake, enhancing our time in shared interests. But he doesn’t really care to hear what the raccoon family did in the woods today or how my 20th recipe for hot and sour soup was the best one ever because I used white pepper.  I don’t really care what drummer used to be in what band or who does what music locally.  But he’ll eat the soup and love it, and I’ll hear the music and dance. That’s how we bring it back to the Now and back to us.  And we’ll stay there as long as we do and whether that’s 300 years or 300 hours is irrelevant. We don’t waste our Now time conjecturing.  And I’m selfish enough to only want to be happy in my Now.  When I stay focused on that, my happy future is assured, no matter who or what is or is not there with me.  If this is as happy as I’m meant to be in this lifetime, I’m cool with it.  My life rocks and I live in Paradise.