The awkward moment opening Facebook to a page he’s left open and clicking on a message from a mutual friend thinking you are on your own page. No, you are on his page and he’s telling them (before he tells you) that the relationship is over and he’s available but he’s “gotta be cool on his page because she’s all over it.” Wow. Real men do not deceive in order to attract women. I blogged yesterday “You will learn how conscious you are by how you allow a relationship to morph after the initial infatuation fades.” You can think you know someone who spouts spiritual truths on their page but you learn who they are by their actions on a day to day basis.
I cannot judge him too much, we all talk it for a long time before we can actually walk it. We first spend years telling other people what they should do before it sinks it that message is for us, too. This is what happens when someone tries to be conscious and yet exercises no discipline to correct old behaviors. We all outgrow it at some point. My thoughts on the above post? Relationships change. The betrayal is only in not being honest as soon as intentions change. The gigantic telling point being just this week agreeing that as soon as the emotional involvement changed, that would be the time for key and stuff exchange. That would have been my cue to have the conversation. But that’s just me. The hurt comes from realizing that someone you thought you knew is not at all who he professed to be every day the past 15 months. This too shall pass.
He’s a young soul. He’s trying to wake up. He’s as confused as anyone else. There’s a lot he doesn’t understand, despite the inspirations he shares on Facebook and the personal counseling he loves to do. He wants to be that person. He wants to understand and feel that peace. He’s searching as we all are. We never pretended long term plans, we’re heading two different directions. Our only vow to each other was for honesty, transparency and integrity; to tell the other the moment anything changed so we could evaluate and morph easily into whatever the next stage would be. That was all he violated. It was that purposeful deception that caused the demise of what could have been a lifelong friendship of meaningful soul work together.
We can’t punish people for not continuing to love us. When it’s gone, it’s gone. When they’ve moved to the next shiny sparkle, they’re just looking for the same happiness we all are. They can’t help falling out of love/infatuation. However they can be honorable and honest about it. He was not brought up in a psychologically or emotionally supportive environment. He only knew what he was taught. We all do. It’s heavy karma to feign emotional involvement for personal gain or convenience. A big eye opener and a blessing of a lesson. Chains dropped, he just set me free.