Each time you find it hard to say no to someone for something you do not want to or are unable to do, that places resistance on whatever you are trying to attract in other parts of your life. It also leaves the other one hanging when they could find someone else who is happy to do what you are unavailable to do. Knowing that, it is easy for me to say no when it is a no.

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I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office recently and waiting also was a grandmotherly type and a girl about 3-4 years old. Cartoons were on the tv and after the first, it said “The End.”  The grandmother looks up and says, “the end,” and goes back to her magazine.  The child begins to cry and say, “oh no, not the end!” The woman chuckles and calls her silly.  The child repeated it several times before I felt obliged to jump in and say, “It’s ok. It’s just the end of that one cartoon.  When you hear “The End,” it means the end of one thing and the beginning of something else. The End is always followed by a new beginning. New beginnings are fun.”  The woman looked up at me and hugged the little girl close and mouthed the words, “thank you.” “There are always new beginnings,” the woman said to her, smiling at me with her eyes.  How sad a child has to fear those words. What a blessing that the grandmother now has something else to say to her when she gets upset.

As I was waiting to pick up a friend from work, I heard someone outside the office on a cell phone trying to find a ride home.  I asked where he was going and it was right on 0ur way home.  Jeremy asked him what he did for fun and he said he hung out with his roommates at the bachelor pad and got loaded.  He’s 26.  Ah, youth. Oh, I left out the best part. The apartment is right behind the bar, so it’s easy to walk to and nobody gets a DUI.  I love when I catch myself being judgmental. He’s split from his wife and child and been thru jail, I don’t know how hard life has been for him, he probably needs to relax a little. And no I shouldn’t be ashamed of myself for judging him, just be thankful I can catch myself at it pretty quickly and correct it.

A busy day so far, I was up early to begin billing, opening mail, went to the bank and post office, got my oil changed and tires rotated, got water bottles refilled, went back to the bank. Lunch was a head of romaine, a hunk of smoked provolone flavored soy cheese and a cup of hot veggie boullion. I went to the vet and got Frontline Tritek for the cats, came home and hunted them down and applied it. I brushed two kittens’ worth of fur out of Izzy’s coat. I emptied the garbage and recycling cans into the bins outside, I watered the front bamboo while I swept the front walk. I walked the property and dragged the oak branch deadfall to the firewood pile and separated the kindling. I did the dishes for the last two days, I use 3-4 cups and saucers and spoons each day. I cleaned the floors and even cleaned the car seats. How I find time for a job I have no idea.  I was glad to see this post 10 hours later, when I felt I hadn’t accomplished much all day.  It was just not much computer work…

I was recently speaking with someone about their (self perceived) habit of making poor decisions. They may be being too hard on themselves. The poor decisions I’ve made in the past usually had to do with taking responsibility for someone who took no responsiblity for themselves, then I feel I can’t cut the cord because I’ve allowed them to become too dependent on me. When I catch myself doing that, I distance myself emotionally while remaining cordial, especially if we have to share space on a regular basis. I usually also pray they have the perfect person come into their life to enliven them, wake them up to realize they have many years of life left and to not fritter them away in front of tv eating bonbons.  There is someone out there in this big world who wants to be with someone just like them.  They can find meaningful pass times if they take the time to make themselves get out amongst people and see what’s out there to do. The only thing stopping that from happening is when no one makes a move, when you keep the status quo. No one wanting to upset the other’s apple cart.  Sometimes you have to upset the apple cart to get the best apples.

A few days ago in Dear Unknown Woman Who Accused Me,  a client’s wife had to be assured there was nothing going on between us other than meditation or yoga talk.  This misunderstanding happens a lot and I understand, suddenly a new woman has the attention of their man and they want to know why.    I made my post on Facebook and Freddie Zeringue explains what is behind the mechanics of it: “This is quite common in the field of transformation. When one partner shifts and the other doesn’t, there is always a certain intimacy born in the person who shifts that the other doesn’t understand or get in any way. It is not just the fact that they don’t understand, it is the idea that they can’t understand as none of us are capable of seeing what we can’t see until something shifts us. It is unfortunate for those of us who endeavor to work in the field of transformation. Transference is very common because of this intimacy and therefore what else can an outsider assume? I have been doing this work for 25 years and it is just a fact I have come to understand and work with and around.”

I feel like a new person having showered and washed hair after a decent early workout: arms, back, shoulders and abs got it today. It’s so funny, I go to a gym to focus on my body, and they have a dozen tvs lining one wall and pop music blaring from the speakers.  It’s like they want to distract me from the fact that I’m working out! I want to ENGAGE my muscles and bones, I want to COMMUNE with the connective tissue and all the cells of my body as I am working them. So, going to the gym becomes a yoga as well, practicing my discipline of staying focused despite cacophony and chaos.

“Hi, I can’t tell by your email who your partner is, but I guarantee there is nothing going on between us other than maybe meditation or yoga talk. I’ve no idea why he’d password lock my emails but I’ve got a bf and am not in the market for another.  Sorry for any misunderstanding.   No hard feelings. ”  Love,  Andrea

I’d posted that on Facebook and Freddie Zeringue summed it up well: “This is quite common in the field of transformation unfortunately. When one partner shifts and the other doesn’t there is always a certain intimacy born in the person who shifts that the other doesn’t understand or get in any way. It is not just the fact that they don’t understand, it is the idea that they can’t understand as none of us or capable of seeing what we can’t see until something shifts us. It is unfortunate for those of us that endeavor to work in the field of transformation. Transference is very common because of this intimacy and therefore what else can an outsider assume. I have been doing this work for 25 years and it is just a fact I have come to understand and work with and around. Good luck with it.”