You call it standing up for him but it’s only stress he doesn’t need at a time he’s seeking peace and joy | Andrea de Michaelis – Creating my own reality, one thought at a time

A third party is causing an uproar on her Facebook wall in the name of protecting someone she thinks needs to be protected. He does not. He’s stronger than you give him credit for. All she is doing is making aggravating remarks that she thinks he’ll read, when he is having enough stress. He comes to Facebook to relax and be inspired, not hear anyone fight about anything, especially not when he’s on a break at work. If she thinks she’s doing him any favors, she doesn’t realize how this universe works. Fighting against something just gives you more to fight about. Dragging others into your chain of pain does nothing to guide them to a brighter tomorrow. Friends don’t get involved and stir up in situations they do not know the details of. Telling that story isn’t helping you, even if it’s true.

She makes many assumptions. I unfriended her this morning when she posted a rant that went off topic about work she knows nothing of. I’ve known her several years and that is her way. Now she’s spent all day criticizing me (she’s entitled to) and mutual FB friends feel the need to message me what she says. Please do NOT. This is HER work to do, not mine. No one can weave with you a bond of discord if you contribute no strands to the weaving. I contribute no strands to this web.

I blog about every lesson I learn as I learn it. I do that because my experience is whatever I’m going through, many others are going through as well. If a lesson from my life can help ease someone else’s way on the Path, then I am fulfilling my mission. In her anger, she missed the point that he and I discussed often that the reason for the public postings of our private matters on Facebook and in our blogs was to be transparent and demonstrate how we work through and get on the other side of daily challenges. That this last post triggered an emotional response in him is a testament to the fact of an issue ready to be looked at and overcome. He knows that and I know that. A day ago I emailed him the post and asked him to highlight the text and I’ll immediately remove anything untrue when I receive it. He lost only one Facebook friend over the post; she unfriended both of us citing her own life had to be drama free.

She does not give him credit for his strength if she feels she needs to protect him. Everything in his life is public record. There are things he has not told her, that he and I know the truth of. There is no slander, no attack on character, he gave me written permission to share our journey. There was no crime committed by either party, just the telling of my experience, as experienced by me. Given the chance to refute it, he graciously declined because he owns it and we all make mistakes. He doesn’t deny it.

When everyone stops bringing their complaints to his attention, he can move back into his place of peace and joy. Fighting against something just gives you more to fight about. Dragging him into your chain of pain does nothing to guide him to a brighter tomorrow. Continuing to tell that story isn’t helping you, even if it’s true.

If you’re really his friend, step back and give him space to do his thang, let him find his happiness online during his Facebook visits, not arguments. Well meaning friends have told me he’s already moved on publicly seeking a new partner. He’s entitled to do that. We are not romantically involved. In the meantime, I apologize to anyone who feels I’ve wronged them. I forgive anyone I feel has wronged me. I love you and thank you for being in my life. You might find peace if you do the same.