Domino asked, “What am I supposed to think?   I met Brad when he began a week long affair with my roommate, the married Tina.  When Tina came home 3 days later, she told me she’d found her soul mate, they spent the whole weekend talking about spirituality, they’re madly in love and she told her husband she wanted a divorce.  By the 8th day, Brad told her they’d made a mistake.  Their first conversations were about how much she wanted to work things out with her husband and Brad’s thoughts kept going back to that.  Tina felt hurt and played.  So what am I supposed to think,” Domino asked me, “now that Brad has been coming around and saying to me the same things Tina told me he said to her?  You said sometimes your heart opens wide for one person and another falls into it, is that what happened for him?  Is this a rebound, is this his M.O.?   What am I supposed to think?”  

If it were me, this is what I would choose to think: I’m supposed to remember that I have my own m.o. with new people as well.  Many people do, it’s not deceptive, it is their way.  I’m supposed to think the better thought and I’m supposed to think what I feel is true.  What I’m supposed to think is that no matter what has gone before, this is our unique moment in time, and in the holy instants we spend, I feel the river (the shakti, the kundalini) running through me.  Since I feel the river, I know if you are not the one for me, then the one for me is getting closer.  I know because I feel the river and I can’t stop the river and I don’t want to stop the river.  All I need to do is keep myself focused on the better feeling thought and see where that river leads me.  Maybe it leads me away from you, just as it led you from Tina to me.  Maybe it leads me to you alone and keeps me swirling around you. But if it leads me away from you, then that is a root on the shore I need to let go of  if I am to continue my journey.

Sometimes we need a root or a branch to grab hold of as we make our way down the river, when we’re going too fast to plan or prepare and just need a brief respite from the rushing water.  Sometimes we just need to touch base with the bank of the river to know there is a place of stillness that causes us to be still as well, to catch our  breath and recoup before we make our way back out into the  world.  Maybe right now I’m just a branch in the river of your flow, maybe I’m just meant to be the riverbank you can touch and feel home and rest in the quiet of.  Maybe I‘m meant to be your whole world and we’ll spend the rest of our lives in crazy mad love.  Maybe we’ll never speak again.  (Thank you Jeremy James Bonner)

The point is the river IS the love, the river flows past many things and many people and we don’t need to be concerned with who should feel what when or how long will it last or where is it going to go or who else was ever in the river. Sometimes you just have to do as  Daniel Nahmod sings in a fave song “I let nature take its course, no more thinking that I know, where this river ‘s meant to go.  I want to  be like water, head uphill no more, I am bound for the sea.”

WATER lyrics:
“Well, I’ve seen my share of struggle
when I thought that I knew best,
when I’ve sailed through the storm
instead of stopping to rest.

And it always seems the hardest
when I made up my stubborn mind.
Well, I’m changing my ways this time….

Want to be like water…
coming down the mountain,
into shadowy canyons,
flowing from pool to stream…
I want to be like water…
head uphill no more,
I am bound for the sea.

Have you ever seen an eagle head straight into the wind?
He doesn’t pick a fight, he spreads his wings and just gives in.
And in the end he always makes it home just fine.
Guess he knows that every storm subsides….

I’ll let nature takes its course.
No more thinkin’ that I knoww
here this river’s meant to go.

I’ve railed against the stars for the cards that I’ve been dealt,
for the lottery I never won, for the heartache that I’ve felt.
But it always seems when I let go expectation and regret,
life has plenty of surprises for me yet.

Want to be like water…
comin’ down the mountain, into shadowy canyons,
flowin’ from pool to stream…
I want to be like water…
head uphill no more,
I am bound for the sea.