Pema Chodron

“So with this person who is scaring us or insulting us, do we retaliate as we have done one hundred thousand times before, or do we start to get smart and finally hold our seat? Right at the point when we are about to blow our top or withdraw into oblivion, we can remember this: we are warriors-in-training being taught how to sit with edginess and discomfort. We are being challenged to remain and to relax where we are. The problem with following these or any instructions is that we have a tendency to be too serious and rigid. We get tense and uptight about trying to relax and be patient… it is helpful to think about the person who is angry, the anger itself, and the object of that anger as being like a dream.

We can regard our life as a movie in which we are temporarily the leading player. Rather than making it so important, we can reflect on the essencelessness of our current situation. We can slow down and ask ourselves, ‘Who is this monolithic me that has been so offended? And who is this other person who can trigger me like this? What is this praise and blame that hook me like a Ping-Pong ball from hope to fear, from happiness to misery?’ This big-deal struggle, this big-deal self, and this big-deal other could all be lightened up considerably.” Pema Chodron