I woke up yesterday morning with an almost overwhelming urge to go to the grocery store and buy canned vegetables.  When I found the Indian Pantry Moths last month, I emptied out my pantry and washed everything down and have just kept it empty the last couple of weeks to make sure they are gone.  I now keep all dried beans and cereals in the refrigerator instead of the pantry.  I used to keep my pantry stocked and when I changed my eating habits in 2004, I gave all my unhealthy foods away.  That ended up being everything.  Then I began eating so differently that I just never bought many cans of anything at any one time.  I may have half a dozen cans of garbanzos and black beans, a couple of soups and some dried beans, but that was it.  I kind of like the idea of the cabinet being bare: not a lot of food that I am committed to eat before it expires.  I’ve always had commitment issues.  Then I woke up this morning with the urge to stock up on canned vegetables.  I think I was channeling my mother.

As I was driving to the store, I gave some thought as to why I felt this urge for canned goods. I thought back to the storms of 2004 where much of the area was without power and gas.  The stores weren’t getting their deliveries on time.  Fresh produce was not to be had for a few weeks.  There was no shortage of food, but it was canned, nothing fresh, nothing frozen.  I found myself (and these were in my bad eating habits days) craving fresh fruits and vegetables.  I remember one evening going into one Publix after another on the way home, trying to find a can of green beans or a can of peaches.  The 3rd Publix had them both and I was so excited!

But for whatever reason, I felt compelled yesterday to buy cans of green beans, soups and canned fruits.  I didn’t fight the impulse, I’ve learned I get these for a reason.  My mother, as she got into her 50’s, became very price conscious, although she earned a good income.  She’d proudly report the lucky finds she came across in what she called the dented food store. Mom had a pantry full of canned goods and always loved a bargain. She also had a lot of expired canned goods to be discarded when she passed.

I remember when growing up in Hialeah, my dad went through a Mormon stage and apparently part of that is stocking enough cans of food in your house to last a family a lifetime or something.  He built an extra pantry for just that, and kept it stocked.  It was like a bunker in there.  So I was thinking of these things as I was shopping.  That’s when I felt like I was channelling my mother.  I was looking at the prices but would buy DelMonte instead of the store brand because, well, it was just a few cents difference and I had never tasted the store brand before.  My mom loved to buy the store brands.  Some of them I could tell the difference, some not.

And it’s not exactly a price issue, for me most of the time having a lot of canned goods means an expiration date I need to keep an eye on and feeling pressured to eat something I may not be in the mood for.   Things like fresh produce used to bring up my commitment issues, and ripe bananas especially.  Now I go through a lot of fresh produce, and I have to keep an eye on the cans to make sure they don’t expire before I get to them.

I don’t like to do things that are wasteful. I try to keep a balance between saving for a rainy day and living to the fullest in the moment.  I don’t feel the need to begin stockpiling frantically for a tomorrow that may never come, but I also do not want to become like Frisky the squirrel who had no resources of his own.

Often in the past I’ve stockpiled a lot of different things, just in case, and ended up having to discard much of it unused.  I’ve learned that in any emergency situation, somehow exactly what I need will be made available to me.   It has never failed and I have faith it will never fail.

This is what is meant by recognizing The Power Of The Now.  I don’t need to know right now where my next good or next opportunity will come from. I just need to stay open and perceptive in the moment and realize what I have right in front of me.  To the extent that I realize what is available to me in the moment, to that extent does it reveal itself to me.

Some people live like nomads who never own anything of their own and they depend upon others to get them by in life.  Some do it as an affordable lifestyle and others do it as an ascetic discipline.  It takes a lot of courage and faith to strike out on your own, and venture into unknown territory, with nothing.

So while I firmly believe if I had to do the same, I would somehow get by, I also think it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.  As Mohammed’s advice to the camel driver “Trust in God but tether your camel.” And the advice of John Wesley to “Act as though everything depended upon you; and pray as though everything depended upon God”.

And, in the meantime, if we have a storm and are without power for a bit, I won’t be looking in one store after another for a can of green beans and a can of peaches.  I’ll have a cupboard full.

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