I’m doing final layout for the September Horizons this week and so I fielded calls and read emails all day yesterday, from 8am until 9pm.  This is the week of 12-16 hour days working on the mag and not much else.  But it’s a labor of love and so the time goes quickly.  I woke up feeling ready to start the new week.  I’d spent the weekend making sure every bit of filing and bookkeeping was done and, for the first time in months, nothing remained on my desk except what I need for the current issue. I ran to the bank and then to the market since I noticed I’d eaten the last bag of spinach last night.  I munch on spinach or romaine at night instead of chips or popcorn. Leaf by leaf.  As I shopped, I contemplated that for the past year I have been cooking just about every day, now that my diet has gotten a little purer.  For years I ate out 7+ times a week.  I know when I stopped eating (most) meat in 2005, my food bill was easily cut by half.  So when I got home, I sat down and looked through my records to see how my cooking at home routine compared financially to my dining out all the time routine.  I was surprised that my total was $8,887 less.  I thought, wow, that’s an extra almost $9k, which is kind of like the Universe giving me a raise.

I got a call from a friend out of state who publishes a tabloid, and she spent a few minutes talking about how business is down everywhere and the economy is to blame.  I reminded her that business is not down everywhere and some are even flourishing.  I guess because I don’t talk to many people who are having problems, and because I don’t watch the news, I only get input that tells me it’s business as usual for a lot of folks.  But that’s part of what keeps me hopeful, and part of what keeps me in the flow of good things coming my way.  I’m not always searching out evidence of a financial collapse, or what horrible whatever might be around the next corner.  I’m always looking for ways to prove to myself how good it is, right now, right here in front of me.

And I don’t have far to go to look. I have new clients and new ads, and business is literally booming.  Without even trying to cut back financially, I see that the Universe has orchestrated it so that I spent almost $9,000 less this year than last.  Without me even trying to or thinking I needed to.  Since I bought my Toyota Prius and get between 45-70 mpg, my fuel costs are cut in half – no, more than half what they were with my Santa Fe.  Even at today’s prices.  Whatever they are.

And it’s not just me being Pollyanna. I see evidence of things being on the upswing everywhere I go.   I’ve got a sister in law who believes the world is going to hell in a hand basket because that’s what Fox news tells her.  She’s a basket case and she’s going to give herself a stroke.  It’s all she can talk about with all her friends.  The worry, the worry, the… oh wait, what is she worrying about again?  She’s the last in a line of smart investors so she’s fully funded.  And her friends are the same.

Yet absolutely nothing has changed in their lives.  They are talking about something they are not experiencing.  Just as I have not yet experienced the crunch.  This time around.  Believe me, I have experienced it plenty of times in the past.  And I may again, if I forget what I know and let my mind go there.

I used to think it was just that I’d already paid my dues and that was why I felt so golden now, why things always go my way.  Now I realize it is just that I’m optimistic and tend to expect the best. When I expect good things to happen, when I think I am lucky and that good fortune smiles upon me, that expectation and belief attracts to me many fortunate meetings and synchronistic events.  It causes happy times to happen.  It causes dollars to flow.  It gives me great energy, makes me feel good and inspires me to be more creative.

When I am like this, I know I am in the flow.  I can feel it.  I woke up laughing from a dream the other morning where I was making a list (yes in my dream) of what I would do when I win the lottery.  And in the dream I was going to hand over the magazine to someone for a year.  And I was laughing because, in the dream (as in real life) I got stuck on the part about who to hand it over to.  Laughing because that is the part that doesn’t matter, it’s not like I have to decide who right now.

So as I woke up and realized I was laughing and at what, I said, “so bring me someone new then” and today, not four says later, I may have just talked to that person on the phone.  This is how I can tell I’m in the flow.  When I feel really giddy with joy just doing my ordinary daily work.  When every call is someone with good news.  When every knock on the door is some unexpected niceness.  The times, like now, when I feel I am living inside a giant dancing jewel with all my senses orgasmically engaged in the brilliance and beauty of it all.

So, is this denial?  Or is this evidence of the law of attraction at work?

Do I have all I need, or do I just think I have all I need?

Am I happy, or do I just think I’m happy?

Don’t I win either way?

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