Is Your Relationship More Financially Advantageous To You or To Your Partner? Is It Worth The Price? | Andrea de Michaelis – Creating my own reality, one thought at a time

Tiger Woods to pay his wife millions to stick by him by Peter Cohan Dec 3rd 2009. “Not only has Woods issued a public apology on his web site, but the The Daily Beast reports that he will pay his wife, Elin Nordegren, $5 million upfront and another $55 million to persuade her to stay in their marriage for another 24 months.”

I wonder how many relationships would stay intact if funds were not mingled? How many women would be with men if the men did not financially support them, (and their children from other marriages)? How many men would live with the women they live with, if they had to pay their share of the rent, food and utilities?

So often in my work, I speak with women who have never had to provide for themselves. Either they are young, often with several young children, and often they are middle aged and alone for the first time in their lives. They grow up being bombarded with scary statistics about a precarious economy and begin to see the world through a filter of anxiety and fear. No wonder so many settle for the man (or woman) who is willing to pay the bills. But they don’t know how much they limit themselves by doing that.

I have friends that live on disability income, and I don’t judge anyone for what they feel they need to do. But I feel they limit themselves. Many of them also earn income under the table, not realizing they impact what they attract by doing that. It’s all connected. I agree a safety net is nice. But recognize when it’s not a net but a cage. Don’t limit yourself when so much more is available to you. Most of all, remember it’s all related: everything.

I have friends who pride themselves on living below the poverty level. Some qualify for pubic assistance and are content to live at that level because it requires no effort on their part. So many of these same people have creative ideas and skills to earn them more income and a better life. They simply don’t want to make the effort. They can get into roommate situations as a source of income, and then again it comes down to the question of, “if it were not for the money, would I be with this person?”

For me, nothing is worth more than my peace of mind: knowing I am self sufficient and know that anytime I spend with someone is because I want to do it, not because I can get something from them, or they pay my bills or they are helping me raise my children.

I’m all about not having hidden agendas.