Each evening around an hour before sunset, I go into my yard to hand water the plants.  I keep 3 hoses hooked together and it reaches all the way around the house. Lately the hose keeps getting kinked and the nightly ritual has now become me hauling big lengths of hose around and Jeremy walking behind, untangling and unkinking the hose.  The first time it happened, he asked, “you’ve got three outside spigots with hoses, why use one?”  I told him it was so I can water everything with one hose.  He remarked that I was causing more hassle for myself by being locked into my perception of what I wanted and why I wanted it.  That’s why I keep him around: he’s such a mirror.  He throws my words back at me.  I’m used to throwing, but not so used to catching.  I have a lot to learn.

He was right.  Once I took a moment to think about it, I was creating more work for myself.  It was a routine I was used to, though, and I kept doing it since it felt familiar to me.  It had become a rut that was no longer serving my best interests, nor my new intention in the Now.

My new intention in the Now is that I want to be able to water every spot in the yard with a hose that is easy to carry and move around.   I’d gotten in the habit of one-hose years ago, when I did a lot of night time watering.  Back then, there were no lights in the west and east sides of the house, so I’d have to walk into deep darkness to turn them off and the dark scared me.  At the time,  I’d just moved up from Miami and hadn’t known too much outside darkness ever, so it took some getting used to.

So, I thought, since then, due to a 20+ year old fear that was no longer even relevant, I’ve been hauling around heavy lengths of hose, spending as much time untangling as I do watering, and not even noticing that was what it had turned into.  I wonder what other areas of my life I do the same thing with.  What other areas I might be limiting myself by my perception of what I am doing and what I think I should be doing.