Caught up in the spin

I woke up this morning realizing I had not written a blog post yet. I usually write it the evening before.  I was so busy yesterday doing final layout for the November Horizons Magazine that I worked through the evening and then just went to bed.  As I came in here this morning, nothing came to me to write about, however I knew that, as usual, as soon as I sat at the keyboard, something would come to me.  It didn’t.  So I opened an email from a friend.  I’d ask him how he was doing and he responded, “I guess I’m OK. Are you picking up something? I’m not aware of it. You know, the top that wobbles as it spins may just be aware of the spin, not the wobble.  I admit I’m not taking the best care of myself. I’ve done a couple of classes with X, and I’m still going out with Y. Any of these things could signal something is out of balance, but still I’m choosing to do them. I thought that was an insightful observation.

I told him “As far as still choosing to do things that you think could signal something is out of balance”, we do things until we’re done with them.  We do things that feel familiar, because that is what we’re used to. That’s the station we’re used to being tuned to. That is the place we’re used to vibrating. That’s why it feels familiar.  But when we decide we want to be somewhere else, when we decide we want a different kind of life, we know that in order to get there, we must vibrate in the new place more often than we vibrate in the old.  And we always know where we’re vibrating by what we see around us, what is happening in our life right now.”

I talked yesterday to friend Christopher Tims.  I joked with him that I’m surprised he’s not rich and famous by now.  I met Christopher at the 1998 Universal Lightworkers Conference where he shared the bill with Gregg Braden, Doreen Virtue, Ken Page, Steve Halpern, Jon Marc Hammer. A few years later he moved to Florida and now lives about 6 miles away.  We talked about how much we both enjoy what we’re doing right now, leading simple but fruitful lives.

“Do we not go after more, ” I asked Chris, “because we’re too happy with our little lives as they are?”  He agreed that was what it’s all about.  We can want big and dream big and create big, but life is also about taking time to enjoy what you’ve already created.  Enjoy what you already have in place. He likes teaching and doing his Akashic Record Readings and he also enjoys doing construction and he enjoys his family.  I like writing and reading and doing the magazine, and I also like playing in my yard, creating art and taking photos.  We’re both happy with the lives we’ve cut out for ourselves.

I’ve got many friends that are on the fast track, in and out of the corporate world, and their lives are a flurry of hurry. That is the place they’re used to vibrating. It feels familiar to them, whether they like it or not.  To get somewhere else, they know they must vibrate in a new place.  But so many get caught on the hamster wheel and don’t make the time to think about what they’d prefer.  It’s all they can do right now, as it is, to think about everything they have to think about to keep the current machine in motion.  No room for new thoughts.  No time for new thoughts.  That’s what their programmed mind keeps telling them.

I’m not much different.  I have the same thoughts, I just act on those thoughts far less often than I used to.  I still feel rushed.  I still feel the sense of urgency to do, do, do. I just recognize now that they are simply thoughts, and I can choose to release the thought and not act on it.

I am the one in charge of what thoughts I choose to think.  I am not always in charge of what thoughts pop in to my mind, but I am in charge of what thoughts I choose to continue to think.

I admit I have quite the machine going on myself here, and it takes lots of time to maintain.  I make a good income and one reason for that is because the last few years I’ve scheduled far too much work, too far into the future.  And then it snowballed and now I’m living out the consequences of that and have had little free time this last year.

Taking on too much, just because I can.  Just because I’m used to it.  Just because it feels familiar. And I allow myself to get so caught in the spin that I don’t see my own wobble. I always know where I’m vibrating by what I see around me, what is happening in my life right now.

And right now everything is flowing smoothly. Busy as can be, but truly effortless being.  Just tending to what is in front of me and doing each job step by step, day by day. Knowing that whatever I need will be taken care of if I just tend to what is right in front of my face.

Now to remember that will happen no matter where I am and where I go.  It will happen here in the office at the computer, and it will happen if I’m under an umbrella at the beach, and it will happen if I’m camping in the mountains.

When I’ve had enough, I will remember that.

And when I remember that, I will promptly get myself to a beach or to the mountains.