Sunday March 1, 2009. How do you think about the people around you? How do you talk about family and acquaintances? How do you talk to them? These were the questions I was asking myself when I had a couple of days of attracting weirdness from normally stable friends. Anytime I write questions like that, I say “you” but I of course always mean “me”. Because yes, it IS always all about me 🙂
I notice that how I think about someone and how I talk about them is always a vibrational match to what I attract out of them. If I’m thinking “here comes that pain in the neck Fifi again, I wonder what horror story she’s going to try to tell me today,” well, what do you think I am vibrationally attracting if that is my dominant thought about her?
Sometimes it helps me to write out my situation in the form of a question as though I was asking someone for guidance about it. Then I email it to myself and answer it a day later. I have learned that what I am giving advice about to everyone else is always a lesson I could use myself. It took me like 30 years to get that and still sometimes I forget. I do that with clients and friends also, although I don’t dare pull it on my brother. But I’m safe there, we don’t give each other unsolicited advice. We’re smart that way.
A girlfriend last week was emailing about an old situation that keeps coming up for her and preventing her from feeling free to go certain places where certain other people may be. She was fine with these people but felt they would be made uncomfortable by her presence, and asked what I thought.
I told her “If you think it makes them uncomfortable to be around you, and if that’s what comes to mind when you think of going there, either don’t go there or stop thinking of it that way. You don’t always have to stop doing what you’re doing. Sometimes you just have to change what you think about what you’re doing. Don’t give them that much power over how you feel and where you vibrate. Stop thinking about it like it’s a problem – or ever was – because that just brings the situation to the forefront of everyone’s mind again. If that’s what you’re doing, no wonder resistance is in the air.”
She was going to call and ask if a certain person would feel better if she didn’t attend a certain exhibition. I told her, “I would not ask her, I would not mention it ever again. I would never refer to it again. I would just go in and out of any public place as I would as if all that never happened. And if you do that, it will fall away soon enough and you’ll be done with it. If you keep thinking about it and making any mention of it whatsoever, you’re keeping it active. Just so you know, you have mentioned it to me several times this year so it’s really unresolved within you.”
She replied: “Yes, totally unresolved! You are right. I can just be driving down the street and a thought from that particular past will pop in my head. It’s weird and annoying. I am one of those dwellers, “Why would they think that? Why did I let this happen? Why did I wait so long to see them? Blah-Blah-Blah!” I guess my work this week will be to get rid of that baggage.”
I answered, “That’s the Universe saying, hey here’s another chance to work on changing your perception on that topic. How about this: Please give me advice on this scenario:
I have friends who have a gallery I used to love going to. We were all friends and everything was hunky dory and suddenly now, for whatever reason, I feel like they don’t want me there and they all shut up and stop having fun when I come in. They clearly don’t want to include me. My feelings are hurt and when I speak to one or more of them, they tell me everything is fine but I know it’s really not. They have exhibitions at the gallery I’d like to attend but don’t feel welcome. Help please, what would you do?
She laughed at that because I was just reminding her of what she already knows.
When I do new projects, I like working with the end in sight. That keeps me focused on my goal. It helps me plan and do In The Now what will make for the most desired outcome and future consequences. If the end in sight is a happy relationship with associates and loved ones, then it helps me to keep that end in sight. Doing so gives me the freedom to be more allowing and cooperative in the now, because I see the bigger picture. Keeping the end in sight helps me make more informed decisions and choose my battles more wisely.
And it’s not hard to do. It usually just means remembering what you love about this person and then remembering who they really are so you can attract that out of them again. Because that’s all both of you want anyway.
We have far to go and much good work to do together if we would stop letting personality conflicts take up so much of our time and attention. I’ve done my share of it. That’s why I don’t make time for it now.
See, I know I am a butterfly and I know the slightest movement of my wing will set in motions worlds upon worlds of consequences. So I’m careful when and where I flutter. And while I may fly close to the flame, I know not to fly into it.
Not just yet. I’ll let you know when that calling comes 🙂