A while back, some friends were holding an evening of music and two buddies agreed to sit in and accompany my roommate Jeremy Bonner.  It was a night of good music, good friends and good fun.  I met one guy’s wife for the first time and she didn’t appear happy to be there.  She didn’t appear interested in talking with me either.  Several times she went out and sat in their car, but not once did she stand or sit with him.  Just stared with the not so happy face.  At one point as I was standing near her watching a group perform, she said “I thought they were only supposed to play 3 songs each, this is their 6th song.”  As the wife of a musician, I figure she has to expect that musicians seldom if ever go on at the appointed time.  They did go on a half hour later than expected but it was a fun hour with good people and she was the only one counting.  And pouting.  She didn’t even try to put on a happy face or act supportive of her mate.  I joked with her husband on the way out, ‘Oh you’re going to have a fun ride home,” to which he replied, “Nah. We’re each in charge of our own happiness and I’ve had a good time tonight.” I got the impression he really did.  I thought what a cool and enlightened view that is, and how wise to take responsibility for your own happiness that way.

I find it especially interesting since, while I know zero about their marital background other than they’ve been together for like 300 years, I know it’s always possible to take your thoughts away from what is bothering you, and make yourself engage in something that evokes better feeling thought, moment by moment.

Just a few days before the event, my roommate and I’d had some disagreements and weren’t exactly on the best of terms at event time.  We weren’t fighting, just not exactly thrilled with each other at the moment.  But that ended as we walked into the venue and he began to do his thang and I began to do my thang.  We had fun connecting with friends, meeting new people and spending time apart from each other for a few hours.  Afterward we were back to our fun and happy selves.  But the point is, I could have, like my friend’s wife, chosen to be a pouty puss all night and watch the clock and ignore the music and ignore everyone except for shooting dagger eyes at my mate, but that would have not been fun for me either.

A similar situation, two different responses.  We always have a choice of how to act and reaction in every situation.  I do my best to act in a way that lets me have the most fun, no matter what anyone else is doing.