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THIS MONTH’S                               ILLUSION IS SEPARATION
                                                                            THE GREATEST OPTICAL

                                   THOUGHTS                      When friends die before us, we tend to feel they're gone
                                                                 forever when that's not the case.  Rather it’s as though they're
                                       ABOUT                     in another room and soon we will be in that room as well. It's
                                                                 like when you're in elementary school and some of your class-
                                    THINGS...                    mates graduate to middle school before you. They are still
                                                                 "in the system" but at a different location and on a different
                                  “In the company of one who is living   schedule than you, so you no longer see them every day.
                                   Love, you can’t help but spring into
                                   that Love.”  - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar  Then some friends graduate to high school or go to college or
            Andrea de Michaelis                                  just move away to another town. You may not see them for
                Publisher                                        10-20-30 years until something like Facebook brings everyone
            Hello and welcome to the February 2019               together again, like for a lot of us. Just the same, our loved
                                                                 ones who go before us? We'll see them again in another place
            edition of Horizons Magazine. Art imitates life! I   and time. No, you won't sit next to them again in Ms. Dylan's
            began watching The Last Laugh on Netflix last month, almost   class but you'll meet again and know each other and communi-
            turned it off early on as it looked a little depressing, then   cate again in real time.
            the pace picked up when Chevy Chase and Richard Dreyfuss
            decided they were NOT ready to live in a senior community so   Watching shows about people dealing with their own
            they went on the road with Dreyfuss' comedy act.  Hilarity  --   mortality and in speaking with friends, it gives me a
            and deep insights -- ensued.
                                                                 chance to see how I feel about my own. I advise with
                                                                 many people throughout the week who tell me their concerns
            A recurring theme: Last season in Netflix’s Frankie and Grace,
            their kids talked them into entering an assisted living retire-  and worries, seeking direction in finding a way out of it or a
            ment community LONG before it was time. In Season 5, they   way to make peace with the inevitable. While I’m fairly prac-
                                                                 ticed at staying objective, some of the stories can weigh on
            flee the community in a stolen golf cart, their forbidden fon-
            due pot and toaster in hand, to resume life at home since they   me, during which time I’ll have some resistance going on.
            are not ready for “that time” of their lives where they need
            assistance.                                          I talk a lot about staying focused in a happy positive direc-
                                                                 tion, silver linings, etc and friends ask why I EVER attract icky
                                                                 stuff.  We don’t always know WHY we’ve attracted some-
            But not everyone gets to “that time” where they need as-
            sistance. A lot of folks die at home during the course of their   thing we don’t want, but we know it has to do with having
            natural day, in the middle of gardening, watching tv, sleeping.   some level of resistance.  Last month, I attracted some ag-
            Not everyone has to get sick or debilitate before passing on.    gravating scenarios, in the midst of having a happy life with
                                                                 no (conscious) worries or concerns or fears.  That told me I
                                                                 had resistance somewhere but experience told me if I stayed
            My mom passed at 64 of her first heart attack, no long drawn
            out illness or suffering.  Her sister is now in her 80’s and still   focused on silver linings I could lift myself out of it, no matter
            going strong, My dad passed of an accident at 64, healthy and   the cause.
            active until then. His brother is active and healthy in his 80’s.       ...continued on page 29...
            At 66 I’m healthy, stay active and make a point to eat nutri-
            tiously -- for the most part. My life is easier, less stressful than
            my parents' lives. I can see me doing this happily another 20-
            30 years and then dozing off in my recliner to wake up to the
            sight of loved ones who’ve passed before me. Wait, I have 5
            former husbands and sets of in-laws, how does that work??

                     MAKE A POINT TO MAKE
                   NEW FRIENDS ALL THE TIME
            Make a point to make new friends all the time, no matter how
            old you are. How do you make new friends? You cultivate
            interest in something and then start doing it and then be
            a good friend to whoever you find around you. It's as easy
            as you let it be. And while we’re on the topic, don't lament
            when friends begin dying off one by one. That will happen,   We don't always see the big picture and we freak
            that is life. Spend time with friends and love them when
            they're in your life. Reflect on happy memories when they are   because our world seems so tiny, so limited.
            gone. Close your eyes, remember what's good.                 NOTE TO SELF: Stop taking score so soon.

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