Page 28 - horizons - 518 Issue

14 TRAITS ENERGY 7. Hyperempathy: Can you literally feel the feelings of others?
Do you cry easily at movies, sad books, Hallmark television
Photo credit: Wes Ennis MOST ATTRACTIVE ads? Do you work in the healing professions?
VAMPIRES FIND
8. Responsibility and resourcefulness: Are you the go-to
person in your family or at work? The one who holds the “tribal
old contracts are kept and what the minutes of the meeting
...continued from page 21... memory” of the place—the person who remembers where the
from two years ago said? Do you often end up in leadership
roles at work or at home?
SELF-ASSESSMENT - HOW MANY OF
THESE APPLY TO YOU? 9. Self-directed: Are you a self-starter who works well without
supervision? Are you highly motivated to learn new things,
1.Extroversion and excitement seeking: Do you find that you figure systems out, and solve problems?
often get into relationships with people who are extroverted
and exciting? Does the idea of being in a “comfortable” rela- 10. Overachieving: Have you ever been called an overachiev-
tionship seem boring to you? er? Do you find that you usually work harder than others and
have a hard time resting and taking care of yourself? Psycholo-
2. Relationship investment: Do you give great emotional, gist Dr. George Simon, Jr., has also identified similar qualities
spiritual, physical, and financial investments to all your rela- that can become vulnerabilities in people at risk for manipula-
tionships—not just your intimate ones? Do you often feel as if tion:
you are giving 80 percent while the other people give only 20
percent? 11. Naïveté: Do you simply believe that people can’t possibly
be as cunning, devious, and evil as your gut tells you they are?
3. Attachment: Do you have the capacity for deep emotional Do you assume that everyone is working toward the good of
bonds? Do you form powerful bonds with people quickly? Do others?
you form bonds that make you feel beholden or desirous to do
anything asked by the other people in your relationships? 12. Conscientiousness: Are you harder on yourself than any-
one else? Do you give the manipulator the benefit of the doubt
4. Competitiveness: Are you unlikely to run out on relation- when he hurts you? Are you too willing to blame yourself when
ships? Do you stand your ground and fight for relationships to the vampire goes on the attack?
continue? (Keep in mind, we’re not talking about codepen-
dence here.) 13. Low self-esteem and low self-confidence: Do you doubt
that your needs and desires are legitimate? Do you have what
5. Low harm avoidance: Do you assume that you will not get it takes to face conflicts directly and effectively? Do you back
hurt? Do you see others as you see yourself and assume that down at the first sign of conflict and concede to the other? Are
they feel the same way? you easily manipulated by guilt and shame?
6. Cooperation: Are you the can-do person who rolls up your 14. Intellectualization: Do you always try to understand and
sleeves enthusiastically when there’s a task to be done? With explain the behavior of others rationally and logically? And
humor and enthusiasm? Are you apt to volunteer to help out? make the mistake of believing that there must be a reason why
Do you tend to uplift every group you’re in? the manipulator is acting like he is? Do you get so wrapped up
in trying to understand others’ points of view that you forget
yourself? Do you have trouble accepting the fact that there are
people in this world who fight too much and fight underhand-
edly just to get what they want?
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