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Then write him a letter or an email. Don't call him or try to ap- EDITOR'S REMINDER: I have found it is not a male only trait. Females have tes-
proach him in person at first. He won't have time to think and tosterone also. As an Aries times 6, I am a very male/yang energy and display
he won't give you the answers you are searching for. dominant testosterone personality traits. I recognize this as my relation-
ship pattern. Please read this article as both men and women, not just men.
Tell him you still love him and you want to understand what If you're feeling ignored,
happened in your relationship. If you wanted to be with me
again and I was not with someone else, I am ready to renew Here are a few things to remember:
this relationship. You are the greatest guy I have ever met.
If we aren't going to pursue a future together, I don't want 1. This cycle is a normal pattern for men -- he is not playing
to hold this against you or have you hold this against me. I with you. Every woman knows how wonderful it is to see your
sweetie after some time apart. His heart feels that for you
want you to be happy in your life and I know you want me to
be happy in my life. I made a list of the mistakes I thought I whenever he pulls away and it's a positive experience. Let him
made in our relationship and I want your help so I won't make go... and trust that he will come back.
them again. Would you look them over for me and give me
feedback? That would really help me understand myself and 2. While he's regaining his sense of self, maybe this would
be a good time for you to regain yours as well. Instead of wait-
move on so I can find love, hopefully with you if you were
open to that. I love you so much... ing and worrying, why not visit with some girlfriends? Catch up
on your reading. Garden. Meditate. Get a pedicure. Enjoy your
life.
And that's it. Give him some time to reply and see if he will
get together to talk about the last 4 years and any ways you
may have crowded him or been too needy. I really think what 3. You are allowed to make contact, but try to speak his
happened is he tried so hard to please you in the beginning language when you do. One idea is to ask him for information.
that he began to get nervous (cold feet) about being able to You can ask him something like, "Remember that movie you
please you forever. It could have been a subtle thing that you were telling me about? What was the name of that again? I was
didn't even knowingly do, like he skipped a night out with the thinking of renting it." Appeal to his sense of being the expert
guys because he felt guilty about leaving you alone. by asking for his help or advice.

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