{"id":46253,"date":"2017-07-09T14:46:20","date_gmt":"2017-07-09T19:46:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=46253"},"modified":"2025-03-06T08:10:14","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T13:10:14","slug":"an-email-reading-how-do-i-draw-him-closer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/an-email-reading-how-do-i-draw-him-closer\/","title":{"rendered":"An email reading: How do I draw him closer?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This is an excerpt from an email reading. A friend writes<\/span>, “I met a nice guy, we’ve been out 6 times in the last month. He never checks his phone when we’re together, so I know he compartmentalizes his time. He went on a scheduled trip for a family reunion last week and I’ve not heard from him since. I sent a text saying let me know when you get there. What is up with his silences? How do I draw him closer – and how do I work with my own stressors to not project that onto him<\/em>.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Andrea responds:<\/span> It\u2019s just the old ebb and flow, the rubber band effect of the new encounter. Detach for a few days and it will resume. You may not hear from him this weekend so stay mobile. I don\u2019t feel a giant connection with him just yet but he\u2019s not gone. When I \u201cfeel\u201d the connection, I\u2019m feeling the emotional attachment. He doesn\u2019t attach easily or well but he’s not being aloof, he\u2019s just slow to make his way because he\u2019s learned the lesson of getting too close too soon. He knows the infatuation period is where much talk and defining can ruin what might become. \u00a0When a guy starts to back away, you should do the same. Not as a game of cat and mouse but to restore balance and desire in a relationship by reading the signs that he needs time and space to integrate.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I feel you have a good assessment of him. Compartmentalizing his life is how he stays focused and productive. When he\u2019s with you, he\u2019s WITH you. When he\u2019s at work, he\u2019s at WORK. When he attends friend and family obligations, he\u2019s THERE. He\u2019s used to throwing dollars at loved ones, they see him as the fix it guy. He knows he can make a bigger difference in empowering them to be self sufficient by seeing them, talking to them instead of just mailing a check, so he meets with them regularly.\u00a0When people feel attended to, when they know someone cares enough to give them attention, they feel loved and protected and secure and empowered. That\u2019s what he brings to the table. It would be a waste of time for him to attend the family reunion yet text other people the entire time, or talk to them about his job or his new girlfriend. He keeps the topic to what they want and what they are all there for. He\u2019s not one to \u201cbe there in body only.\u201d His mind is in the gig as well. He\u2019s \u201cin character\u201d in \u201cthe movie\u201d and that takes discipline. And he\u2019s got that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When he\u2019s with you, the best way to communicate with him not feeling emotionally overloaded (due to family etc stuff) is to keep to topics of current events and what you think of them, unless he chooses to ask about family growing up or particular past events or future plans. Let him lead the conversation to personal stuff. Right now he\u2019s soothed by light romance and engaging conversation. Any further emotional responsibility feels burdensome to him right now. He has many financial obligations but he feels on top of them. He\u2019s not telling you everything but he\u2019s also not hiding anything. He\u2019s got a lot going on. There are no red flags.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Basically right now he\u2019s got a lot of balls in the air and only so much time. Sit tight, you\u2019re still in rotation, at least in his mind. I\u2019d not text or call, just do other things with enough focus that you have fun and forget he hasn\u2019t called yet. Mentally chalk it off to, \u201che\u2019s busy, I\u2019ll let him get back to me, so what if it\u2019s 2 weeks, we\u2019re both busy and I understand<\/em>.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

After a week long family reunion with people who see you as a money source, you’d need some silent after time as well.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a short visualization exercise, an emotional feeling workshop, to get you vibing in the place you want to vibe to attract what you want to attract.<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

An effective technique is to keep in mind all the things you like about him, just remove his face and name from the equation. Every man you pass, consider what you might like about him. As you consider that, keep in mind that the reason you are doing this exercise is reach vibrational resonance and hold it there long enough to begin the attraction process<\/em>.<\/span> Just a few minutes a few times a day is all you need to do.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We always attract into our experience someone who resonates vibrationally with where we are, so we need to make sure we\u2019re where we want to be. We want to be honest, we want to be kind, we want to be self sufficient, we want to be motivated by a passion, we want friends who inspire us to a shared purpose, we want to make a difference, we want to harm none. Whatever we\u2019re successfully aspiring to is what will come back to us,<\/span> Make sure it\u2019s the good stuff.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So keep in mind all the things you like about him, just remove his face and name from the equation. Every man you pass, consider what you might like about him. This exercise brings you in vibrational resonance long enough to begin the attraction process. Just a few minutes a few times a day is all you need.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And of course the old stand by, do a lovemaking visualization, a short mental workshop designed to attract a lover. Imagine circumstances and emotions until you feel engaged long enough for endorphins to flow. But if you\u2019re not also doing \u201cemotional feeling\u201d workshops about intellectual conversation or shared goals<\/span><\/em>, you\u2019ll simply attract potential lovers with whom you may have nothing mentally or morally in common.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Question: I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re referring to when you say the \u2018emotional feeling\u2019 workshops.<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/h1>\n

I mean the visualization I gave above, making sure to include the appreciation of intellectual conversation, shared goals, etc (not just sex.) \u00a0Basically it’s just visualizing what you want to happen but visualizing it long enough that you can actually emotionally feel that it is happening.\u00a0Because visualizing isn’t just seeing the picture, visualizing has to do with recreating the emotion and practicing the emotion you want to feel<\/span> with the new person.\u00a0You practice seeing yourself doing the activities you would do with those persons and you practice the emotion you would be having while you were doing the activities in real life with this person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you’re doing the visualization, if you’re doing the exercise of seeing each man who crosses your path (even in scenes on tv) as “what if him?” then you will begin dropping resistance. When you’ve dropped resistance, you will either attract someone else or you will attract a call out of this one.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Only if you still have resistance will you remember he’s gone and long for his call.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Each time you feel the longing, remind yourself<\/span> that it’s nice to care about someone and want their call. You and he got along well and you would love to attract someone with his good qualities, someone who is also seeking someone like you and someone emotionally available, with time for a relationship. \u00a0<\/em>These are thoughts to help you maneuver successfully away from the feeling of longing<\/span> as in lack, toward a feeling of expectation<\/span> for what is on the way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The only time it’s delayed is when you get caught in the self talk loop of “why did he stop calling? what’s wrong with me? what went wrong?<\/em>” that kind of stuff. Your self talk motivates you, so make sure you do it On Purpose.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Right now he\u2019s spending as much time as he has for you and when you are apart, he\u2019s just involved in other things. He feels a connection to you that he wants to explore but, again, time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As you do the attraction technique above, you may begin attracting a closer connection with him or it may be someone new altogether. Either way you win. I feel you\u2019re very much in his mind but he is used to the rubber band of emotions in a new infatuation so he allows cooling off time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

To end, I pulled this for you from https:\/\/lukespencer954.wordpress.com\/2013\/03\/03\/rubber-band-effect\/<\/a> which explains\u00a0The Rubber Band Effect<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a>
<\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t