{"id":44398,"date":"2016-05-15T04:30:47","date_gmt":"2016-05-15T09:30:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=44398"},"modified":"2016-05-17T05:44:36","modified_gmt":"2016-05-17T10:44:36","slug":"i-react-to-an-old-trigger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/i-react-to-an-old-trigger\/","title":{"rendered":"I react to an old trigger"},"content":{"rendered":"

I experienced an interesting exercise yesterday watching myself react to old triggers. A pal and I were driving when I spotted a former friend walking north on Emerson Drive. I knew who it was from a block away by the walk, by the clothes. As I passed him, he had a look that I recognized well. He looked completely luded out. \u00a0I did a U turn and passed him again. He was sitting under a tree in someone\u2019s yard. \u00a0He looked straight toward me and I\u2019ve seen that face enough to know it well. Bipolar, most who know him haven\u2019t seen the down side, they see only the up moods, the faux charm, the manic \u201con\u201d personality. I saw both for 2 years.\u00a0 My first thought was he needs to not be walking around like that. My second thought was, \u201cit\u2019s not my job to know what he should be doing.\u201d I went home and thought no more about it. \u00a0Later, as I was gardening in the front yard, I found myself glancing up the street and at my driveway. I began to feel uneasy. Back in the day he’d spook me by watching just out of sight. He holds grudges\u00a0for years and plots payback.\u00a0<\/span>It doesn\u2019t matter if there\u2019s a monster in the bushes or if I only think there\u2019s a monster in the bushes; \u00a0either way, for peace of mind I should get out of the bushes.<\/em> I went inside and thought no more about it. \u00a0I woke at 3:00am and walked outside for a nighttime stroll around the hood.\u00a0 As I neared the street, however, I felt uneasy. \u00a0I didn\u2019t feel safe walking around in the dark. I wondered if my former friend had been by. For a year he lived across the street at his mom\u2019s, who was my friend for 20 years. For that year I stopped walking at night. He now lives a mile south, so it\u2019s still on his radar. He\u2019d been out walking — when he hates to walk — and he was looking in a bad way. Not what I\u2019d want to run into and certainly not alone in the middle of the night. He\u2019s a troubled individual. I hope he gets the help he needs. And if I feel in danger, I need to look within and see what it is in me that is attracting those thoughts and what I can learn from it. And as always, I trust in God and tie my camel.
\n\"monster<\/a>
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