{"id":34121,"date":"2013-12-10T07:55:32","date_gmt":"2013-12-10T12:55:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=34121"},"modified":"2013-12-10T08:04:17","modified_gmt":"2013-12-10T13:04:17","slug":"pain-is-caused-not-when-a-troublesome-thought-surfaces-but-by-your-conscious-choice-to-follow-the-troublesome-thought-and-re-activate-your-pain-by-staying-on-the-topic-with-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/pain-is-caused-not-when-a-troublesome-thought-surfaces-but-by-your-conscious-choice-to-follow-the-troublesome-thought-and-re-activate-your-pain-by-staying-on-the-topic-with-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Pain is caused, not when a troublesome thought surfaces, but by your conscious choice to follow the troublesome thought and re-activate your pain by staying on the topic with friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stop being ticked at the one you think stole your happiness. \u00a0They didn’t have that much power over you until you gave them power by your repeated thoughts and words. They were just a passing blip on the screen of your life. You would be on to happier times by now if you’d stop thinking of all the times they were mean to you. They were mean before and now they’re gone so it’s over, but you have carried that thought around, reactivating it daily for weeks, months, years. If you didn’t have it repeating in the background of your thoughts over and over like a broken record, you would be long past it and on to your better life. \u00a0It’s not what THEY did THEN that is causing you pain NOW. It is your own repeated thoughts and staying on the topic with friends. <\/em><\/p>\n

The pain is caused, not when the thought surfaces, but by your conscious choice to follow the thought and repeat the transgressions in your mind and chat about it<\/em>. Thoughts arise, yes, that happens. Be aware when irksome thoughts arise and then make the choice to not follow them. \u00a0“I am done with this topic for now, I will think instead of some better feeling thought.” And then think some better feeling thought. \u00a0Write up some good replacement thoughts on sticky notes and place them around your home and office. Anytime a grumpy thought arises, think\u00a0“I am done with this topic for now,” and\u00a0read the sticky note over a few times, just long enough to stop the automatic thought from spiraling downward. \u00a0Have good replacement thoughts<\/a> ready.\u00a0Sh*t\u00a0happens. If they aren’t mature enough to handle an amicable parting, forgive them enough for both of you<\/a>. \u00a0Then turn your attention to more fun things. \u00a0The solution is simple, it’s just not always easy to do. Once you begin distracting yourself with replacement thoughts, you get your emotions under control. The best is yet to be, I promise.<\/p>\n

Related: Repetitive unwanted thoughts? \u00a0Replace them<\/a>.
\nDr. Lew\u2019s Ho\u2019oponopono Hawaiian Forgiveness Process
\n<\/a>Stop telling that story to stop living that life<\/a><\/p>\n

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