{"id":209,"date":"2014-12-03T10:48:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-03T15:48:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=209"},"modified":"2014-12-03T10:50:30","modified_gmt":"2014-12-03T15:50:30","slug":"unfaithful-but-otherwise-a-good-man-keep-him-or-dump-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/unfaithful-but-otherwise-a-good-man-keep-him-or-dump-him\/","title":{"rendered":"Unfaithful but otherwise a good man — keep him or dump him?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Don't<\/a>

Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy<\/p><\/div>\n

Surprise, Bob Hope had affairs outside the marriage. Humans are not monogamous by nature. \u00a0He can be responsible in all other areas of his life yet feel at the mercy of his hormones when it comes to sex. He can be completely stupid in the face of evidence he may lose his entire family and lifestyle over it. Don\u2019t take advantage of that. If he\u2019s a good man and you love him, his relationship with anyone else does not have to affect his relationship with you. The only place it can do that is in your mind and you are the one in charge of how you allow yourself to think about it. It\u2019s not about broken promises and whether you have good reason to be mad and whether you\u2019re justified. We commit too quickly without weighing consequences. \u00a0No, it\u2019s about do you love this person and want to continue to be in a relationship with them, knowing this may be an ongoing pattern? That\u2019s all this is about. Everything else is just a thought in your head, and you are the one who can control those.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/p>\n

I know that just because my partner can be tempted doesn\u2019t mean he doesn\u2019t love me and that I can\u2019t have a happy life with him. It\u2019s not what he is doing that causes the problem, it is my reaction to what I think about what he is doing that causes the argument.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve pledged to be monogamous with each other and feel a trust has been broken, simply leave if you feel you must. There is no need to argue and place blame. We commit too quickly without weighing consequences. Move on. But know that intentions change, and we can live happier lives when we allow wiggle room for that.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t fault an otherwise good partner simply because his vibes attracted someone to adore him, even if for just a few hours, and he acted on it. Feel that he has jeopardized you with possible STDs? New routine: use a condom. Both get a check up. No biggie. Don\u2019t make more of it than it needs to be. Don\u2019t jeopardize your own happy life by making it an issue or an ongoing topic of conversation. Don’t ask him to commit to it never happening again.<\/p>\n

Never be with a man who disrespects you or cannot be honest with you, but don’t let infidelity be an automatic deal breaker.<\/p>\n

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