{"id":20670,"date":"2012-08-23T23:03:47","date_gmt":"2012-08-24T03:03:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=20670"},"modified":"2020-12-01T17:11:53","modified_gmt":"2020-12-01T22:11:53","slug":"the-enneagram-im-a-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/the-enneagram-im-a-7\/","title":{"rendered":"The Enneagram – I’m a 7, he’s a 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

What type are you?\u00a0 The<\/span> Enneagram is a personality typing system that helps us discover our habitual ways of being.\u00a0<\/span>Learning what “type” I was brought to light many underlying fixations I was ready to be free of and helped me understand how to get along with friends better. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/h3>\n

The Enneagram is mainly a diagnostic tool of one’s emotional outlook on life. It is also useful as a guide to how other people see the world differently. \u00a0There are a number of tests, including<\/span> these 2 eclectic enneagram test<\/a>s, the Enneagram Institute test<\/a>, the Helen Palmer work,<\/a>\u00a0and the 9 Types.<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0The best way to determine your location on the Enneagram spectrum is to understand the system, and understand yourself. The tests will take you only a small part of the way toward that goal. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Don’t people’s personalities change all the time? \u00a0Most often, what changes is one’s understanding of the personality one had all along. Major life changes most often involve discovery of inner strengths, and admission of weaknesses, that one actually had all along. \u00a0Doesn’t the Enneagram just put people into boxes? \u00a0Actually the Enneagram shows you what boxes to get out of. Most people are not aware of their own fixations, or how powerfully they affect our consciousness.”<\/span><\/p>\n

What type are you?\u00a0\u00a0 Take the tests, I was surprised but learned a lot about myself.<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I just located a file I had with notes a friend and I emailed about several years ago.\u00a0 He was a 4 and I am a 7.\u00a0 \u00a0Here’s the file.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span> I’ve got the 7 in blue below and the 4 in red.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that helps us discover our habitual ways of being.<\/strong> <\/span><\/h2>\n

It helps us activate our inner observer, to become aware of our patterns and understand where others are coming from.\u00a0\u00a0 It showed me how (as a type 7) I had unconscious habits and how to remedy them.\u00a0 When I learned my cousin was a type 2 (last husband was a 4) it told me what to do to get along with him.\u00a0 It showed me how he perceived the world and reacted to it.\u00a0 Big knowledge this gained me.\u00a0 It helped me GET his personality.<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0 Like, I never had low self esteem or was depressed so I never understood how he was or what to do about it, to relate to him about it.\u00a0 Our world changed, and how we related to each other changed.\u00a0 I knew he needed a lot of stroking, he knew I needed a lot of distance.\u00a0 The more strokes I gave, the fewer he needed.<\/span>\u00a0 I never knew someone who needed so much attention. \u00a0I find it uncanny how these type descriptions fit the 7 and the 4. \u00a0They are very right on, as embarrassing as some of them are.<\/span> \u00a0But I love finding new areas of ME to improve upon<\/em>:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0I am The Adventurer (the Seven)<\/span><\/strong>
\nAdventurers are energetic, lively and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

How to Get Along with Me<\/span><\/strong>
\nGive me companionship, affection, and freedom.<\/span>
\nEngage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.<\/span>
\nAppreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.<\/span>
\nDon’t try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.<\/span>
\nBe responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people.<\/span>
\nDon’t tell me what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I Like About Being a Seven<\/span><\/strong>
\nbeing optimistic and not letting life’s troubles get me down<\/span>
\nbeing spontaneous and free-spirited<\/span>
\nbeing outspoken and outrageous. It’s part of the fun.<\/span>
\nbeing generous and trying to make the world a better place<\/span>
\nhaving the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures<\/span>
\nhaving such varied interests and abilities<\/span><\/p>\n

What’s Hard About Being a Seven<\/span><\/strong>
\nnot having enough time to do all the things I want<\/span>
\nnot completing things I start<\/span>
\nnot being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career<\/span>
\nhaving a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies<\/span>
\nfeeling confined when I’m in a one-to-one relationship<\/span><\/p>\n

Sevens as Children Often<\/span><\/strong>
\nare action oriented and adventuresome<\/span>
\ndrum up excitement<\/span>
\nprefer being with other children to being alone<\/span>
\nfinesse their way around adults<\/span>
\ndream of the freedom they’ll have when they grow up<\/span><\/p>\n

Sevens as Parents<\/span><\/strong>
\nare often enthusiastic and generous<\/span>
\nwant their children to be exposed to many adventures in life<\/span>
\nmay be too busy with their own activities to be attentive<\/span><\/p>\n

The Sevens in Relationship<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Adventurers are active and optimistic. They avoid unpleasant emotions, including fear.
\nSelf-Preservation Sevens<\/strong>:<\/span> “Family and Like-Minded Friends”
\nSelf-preservation Sevens tend to be more family oriented than the other subtypes.
\nI like having a home base where we share values and interests and provide a network of support for each other.
\nI often take the role of keeping people entertained and happy.
\nPlanning for and reminiscing about an adventure is usually at least as thrilling as the adventure itself.
\nI prefer my friends to be positive, as I am.
\nI like to be spontaneous, but I also plan ahead to make sure I will see my friends and not miss out on anything.
\nWhen I take risks, they are usually measured rather than reckless.
\nI spend a lot of time in and around my house.<\/p>\n

Relational Sevens: “Excitement”<\/span><\/strong>
\nI like challenge and action.
\nSometimes I push things to the edge or step on people’s toes.
\nI prefer whatever is unusual, intense, complex, or aesthetically pleasing.
\nSometimes I am seductive without meaning to be and get more entangled than I had intended.
\nI pursue fascinating people and adventures.
\nWhen a relationship loses its charge, I may romanticize the person to avoid boredom, or, if I feel trapped, I back away.
\nI can become upset over the discrepancy between the ideal relationship and reality.
\nIt makes me unhappy if my partner doesn’t fully experience excitement and adventure with me.<\/p>\n

Social Sevens: “Impatient vs. Idealistic”<\/span><\/strong>
\nI can see myself risking my life for a principle or cause I believe in.
\nSometimes I’m slow to act on my good intentions, especially when I would have to give up some freedom.
\nI try to stifle my longings for adventure and put responsibilities to my family, career, or a cause first.
\nI don’t like the burden of feeling responsible for the people around me.
\nI like companionship and brotherhood, but I can’t stand it when anyone tries to control or coerce me.
\nI can be impatient. I want to take action right now instead of wasting time bickering about procedures.
\nInequality among people upsets me. I wish there didn’t have to be pecking orders.
\nI have a large circle of friends.
\nI like to keep up on what is new in the community.<\/p>\n

FOUR: THE TRAGIC ROMANTIC<\/span><\/h1>\n

Deception:<\/strong> Conceit (Envy)<\/span>
\n Pseudo-deception<\/strong>: Inferiority<\/span>
\n Antidote:<\/strong> Serenity
\n<\/span>Pseudo-antidote:<\/strong> Authenticity<\/span>
\n Illusion of Reality:<\/strong> Developing singular identity<\/span>
\n Self-justification:<\/strong> “I have found the essence of satisfaction.”<\/span>
\n Time Orientation:<\/strong> Revere the past<\/span>
\n Approach to Problem Solving:<\/strong> Withdrawing: “I am satisfied.”<\/span>
\n Relationship to Life: Way of Reduction:<\/strong> “I am overwhelmed by life.<\/span><\/p>\n

SEVEN: THE ADVENTURER<\/span><\/h1>\n

Deception:<\/strong> Feeling happy (Gluttony)<\/span>
\n Pseudo-deception:<\/strong> Complexity of life<\/span>
\n Antidote:<\/strong> Fortitude
\n<\/span>Pseudo-antidote:<\/strong> Boundless optimism<\/span>
\n Illusion of Reality:<\/strong> Looking to the future<\/span>
\n Self-justification:<\/strong> “I will make the world happy.”<\/span>
\n Time Orientation:<\/strong> Work on future plans<\/span>
\n Approach to Problem Solving:<\/strong> Aggressive: “I accomplish.”<\/span>
\n Relationship to Life:<\/strong> Way of Reduction: “I am overwhelmed by life.<\/span><\/p>\n

EMOTIONS AND THE ENNEAGRAM 4s and 7s<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

The Four:<\/span>
\n The Program of Excellence with Moody Nostalgia<\/span><\/h2>\n

Special Gift:<\/span> The ability to create beauty<\/span>
\n Self-Definition:<\/span> “I’m unique. I conform to standards of excellence.”<\/span>
\n Shadow Issue:<\/span> Envy<\/span>
\n Rejected Element<\/span>: The “commonplace”<\/span>
\n Addiction<\/span>: Superior standards with contempt for lesser standards<\/span>
\n Strength Needed:<\/span> Contentment<\/span>
\n Defense Mechanism:<\/span> Introjection, artistic sublimation<\/span>
\n Psychological Disturbance:<\/span> Depression and manic-depression<\/span>
\nTalk Style:<\/span> Sad Stories<\/span><\/p>\n

Preoccupations of the 4 Include:<\/span> <\/span><\/h2>\n

Attraction to the distant and unavailable.<\/span>
\n Attachment to a melancholy mood, impatience with flat ordinary feelings, need to re-intensify through loss, fantasy and drama.<\/span>
\n Submission to loss and limitation by making a transformed version.<\/span>
\n Luxury and artistic good taste as bolsters to self-esteem.<\/span>
\n Push-pull attention focus on negative features of what one has and positive features of what is not available, reinforcing feelings of abandonment and loss but also fostering sensitivity to emotion and pain in others with abiltity to support them in crisis.<\/span>
\n Focus:<\/span><\/strong> Personal emphasis on reckless, defensive action.<\/span>
\n Couple emphasis on competition.<\/span>
\n Community emphasis on shame.<\/span>
\n Life Task<\/strong>:<\/span> To achieve a sense of the reality of now and to attain the strength of contentment and balance in harmony with all that is. Uncovering the grief and sadness under the creative displacement allows competition.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Seven<\/span>
\nThe Program of Easy Optimism with Uneasy Activity<\/span><\/h2>\n

Special Gift:<\/span> The ability to create pleasure and make things happen<\/span>
\n Self-Definition:<\/span> “I’m fun. I see the bright side of life.”<\/span>
\n Shadow Issue:<\/span> Gluttony<\/span>
\n Rejected Element:<\/span> Pain<\/span>
\n Addiction:<\/span> Easy Optimism<\/span>
\n Strength Needed:<\/span> Level-headed moderation<\/span>
\n Defense Mechanism:<\/span> Rationalization<\/span>
\n Psychological Disturbance:<\/span> Narcissistic personality<\/span>
\nTalk Style:<\/span> Anecdotes<\/span><\/p>\n

Preoccupations of the 7 Include: <\/span><\/h2>\n

Maintaining high levels of stimulation, many activities, many things to do, wanting to stay “high.”<\/span>
\n Replacing deep contact with pleasant talking, planning, intellectualizing.<\/span>
\n Defusing threat; maintaining a smokescreen of activity.<\/span>
\n Charm as a first line of defense against fear. Talking one’s way out of trouble.<\/span>
\n Interrelating and systematizing information such that commitments necessarily include loopholes and other backup options which can lead to rationalized escape from difficult commitments, but can also lead to an ability to synthesize unusual connections and parallels between what appear to be antagonistic points of view.<\/span>
\n Superiority\/inferiority dichotomy.<\/span>
\n Focus:<\/span><\/strong> Personal emphasis on savoring life.<\/span>
\n Couple emphasis on being with people of like-mind.<\/span>
\n Community emphasis on limits and obligations.<\/span>
\n Life Task:<\/span> <\/strong>To work with a sense of proportion and balance anchored in the now. Pain of any kind can serve as a steadying point of focus.<\/span><\/p>\n

Type 4 – Seeking Happiness through Pain <\/span>Envy and the Masochistic Personality <\/span>Trait Structure<\/span><\/h1>\n

Envy<\/span>
\n Poor Self-Image<\/span>
\n Focus on Suffering<\/span>
\n “Moving Toward”<\/span>
\n Nurturance<\/span>
\n Emotionality<\/span>
\n Competitive Arrogance<\/span>
\n Refinement<\/span>
\n Artistic Interests<\/span>
\n Strong Superego<\/span><\/p>\n

Type 7 – Opportunistic Idealism\u00a0 <\/span>Gluttony, Fraudulence and Narcissism <\/span>Trait Structure<\/span><\/h1>\n

Gluttony<\/span>
\n Hedonistic Permissiveness<\/span>
\n Rebelliousness<\/span>
\n Lack of Discipline<\/span>
\n Imaginary Wish Fulfillment<\/span>
\n Seductive Pleasingness<\/span>
\n Narcissism<\/span>
\n Persuasiveness<\/span>
\n Fraudulence<\/span><\/p>\n

The preoccupations of TYPE 4 include:<\/span><\/h2>\n

The sense of something missing from life. Others have what I am missing.<\/span>
\n An attraction to the distant and the unavailable. Idealization of the absent lover.<\/span>
\n Mood, manners, luxury, and good taste as external supports to bolster self-esteem.<\/span>
\n An attachment to the mood of melancholy. Depth of feeling as a goal rather than mere happiness.<\/span>
\n Impatience with the “flatness of ordinary feelings.” Needing to reintensify one’s feelings through loss, heightened imagination, and dramatic acts.<\/span>
\n The search for authenticity. The feeling that the present is not real, that the real self will emerge in the future, through an experience of being deeply loved.<\/span>
\n An affinity with what is real and intense in life. Birth, sex, abandonment, death, and cataclysmic happenings.<\/span>
\n A push-pull habit of attention. Focus alternates between the negative features of what one has and the positive features of what is distant and hard to get. This attention style reinforces<\/span>
\n Feelings of abandonment and loss, but also lends itself to<\/span>
\n A sensitivity to other people’s emotionality and pain. An ability to support others in crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n

The preoccupations of TYPE 7 include:<\/span><\/h2>\n

The need to maintain high levels of excitement. Many activities, many interesting things to do. Wanting to stay emotionally high.<\/span>
\n Maintenance of multiple options as a way to buffer commitment to a single course of action.<\/span>
\n Replacement of deep contact with pleasant mental alternatives. Talking, planning, and intellectualizing.<\/span>
\n Charm as a first line of defense. Fear types who move toward people. Avoid direct conflict by going through the cracks. Talk your way out of trouble.<\/span>
\n An attentional style of interrelating and systematizing information, such that commitments necessarily include loopholes and other backup options. This style of attention can lead to<\/span>
\n Rationalized escapism from difficult or limiting tasks.<\/span>
\n The ability to synthesize unusual connections and parallels between what appear to be antagonistic or unrelated points of view.<\/span><\/p>\n

Palmer – The Enneagram in Love & Work.
\nTYPE SEVEN, the Adventurer
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

Seven in Love<\/span><\/h2>\n

Living with Sevens:<\/span>
\nThe main problem is getting a Seven to see the problem.
\nAn ideal mate is someone who adores the Seven and will keep the Seven company while he or she has a good time.
\nSevens want high levels of stimulation, adventure, and multiple options of activity. Because they have great difficulty staying with negative feelings, they’ll want to diffuse disagreement and sweeten the situation. “Shouldn’t we go to dinner and a show?”
\nSevens want to be with partners who mirror their own high self-image.
\nSevens are pleasant when you admire them. But they’ll ridicule or discount you or the situation when they’re challenged or placed in an inferior position. They make nice or make fun of.
\nAcutely sensitive to boredom and repetition in relationships, Sevens can adopt new interests and maintain a charming lifestyle to keep the spark alive.
\nSevens go with the flow. They want to cycle in and out of encounters with people, to arrive on a high note, to leave with good feelings, to return when the flow brings you back together again.
\nExpect Sevens to get angry when the flow is interrupted. They don’t want to be brought down by someone of lesser mind.
\nSevens become acutely aware of the limitations when you call for commitment. They can live in committed relationships for decades and still be uneasy with the concept. Long-term commitments are “a process” and an adventure.
\nSevens take a multidimensional approach to intimacy. They’ll be fascinated by your various aspects. They’ll want to do many different things with you and will support your dreams and activities.<\/p>\n

Seven at Work —<\/span>\u00a0In the Workplace<\/span><\/h2>\n

Offers a sweet solution to authority problems. Wants to equalize authority, which can come out either as a fair peer arrangement or as a situation engineered to ensure that no one is allowed to give orders. If no one gives orders, then people get to do as they please.<\/p>\n

Can become insistent about impractical ideas and inefficient approaches. Prefers ideas and theory to implementation. Will open a task to new approaches rather than face routine.<\/p>\n

Goes through the cracks rather than confronts. An antiauthoritarian stance that gets around the rules by broadening the definition of terms.<\/p>\n

Excellent performer in open-ended projects that do not move into routine. Networks, plans, synthesizes ideas and approaches. Aligns the project with other areas of interest.<\/p>\n

Has an inner sense of capability and high self-worth. Measures self against others to keep this sense of self alive. “Am I superior or inferior?” “Do I stand above or below?” “Am I on top of this project, or will it get me down?”<\/p>\n

Has a tendency to bend people’s minds in order to get their support. Reframes objections. Puffs the possibilities. Puts forward a lucid idea without considering backup. Offers convincing generalities with lots of little loopholes. Offers suggestions that sound like promises.<\/p>\n

Delightful to work with. Can be forgiving and creative during hard times. The office person who wins the popularity poll.<\/p>\n

The Enneagram in Love & Work. Type FOUR, the Tragic Romantic<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

My last husband was the Romantic (type Four).\u00a0 Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. \u00a0The following is from http:\/\/www.9types.com\/descr\/<\/a>:<\/p>\n

How to Get Along with the Four<\/span><\/strong>
\nGive me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
\nBe a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
\nRespect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
\nThough I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
\nDon’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!<\/p>\n

What I Like About Being a Four:<\/span><\/strong>
\nmy ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
\nmy ability to establish warm connections with people
\nadmiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
\nmy creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
\nbeing unique and being seen as unique by others
\nhaving aesthetic sensibilities
\nbeing able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me<\/p>\n

What’s Hard About Being a Four:<\/span><\/strong>
\nexperiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
\nfeelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved
\nfeeling guilty when I disappoint people
\nfeeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me
\nexpecting too much from myself and life
\nfearing being abandoned
\nobsessing over resentments
\nlonging for what I don’t have<\/p>\n

Fours as Children Often<\/span><\/strong>
\nhave active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
\nare very sensitive
\nfeel that they don’t fit in
\nbelieve they are missing something that other people have
\nattach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
\nbecome antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
\nfeel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents’ divorce)<\/p>\n

Fours as Parents<\/span><\/strong>
\nhelp their children become who they really are
\nsupport their children’s creativity and originality
\nare good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
\nare sometimes overly critical or overly protective
\nare usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed<\/p>\n

THE FOURS IN RELATIONSHIP<\/span><\/h1>\n

The Romantic (the Four)
\nRomantics have a strong need to express themselves and to be seen as original.<\/p>\n

Self-Preservation Fours:<\/strong> “Dauntless”<\/span>
\nI crave intensity and stimulation in order to feel alive and avoid the dullness and meaningless of a mundane existence.
\nI am attracted to being close to birth, death, catastrophe, and serious illness.
\nI have plunged into dangerous situations, for example, taking physical risks, breaking laws or rules, taking chances with my money, engaging in promiscuity, or entering into unhealthy relationships.<\/p>\n

I can be determined and persevering in pulling myself and others through crises.
\nI rebel strenuously when people attack my ideals, tell me what to do, or try to change me. I may hurl sarcastic remarks or fly into a rage.
\nI focus intently on my creative work or causes.
\nI can see myself excluding everything else that is going on around me and ignoring the necessities of day-to-day survival while I pursue my goal.
\nI like to point out angles that others have not thought of.
\nI take great offense when people assume they know what I think and how I feel.<\/p>\n

Relational Fours:<\/strong> “Competition and Envy”<\/span>
\nI envy people who seem happier, more fulfilled, or more interesting than I am, particularly those whose assets are similar to mine.
\nWhen having problems in a relationship, I am more likely to become depressed than angry.
\nI want my partner to experience our relationship as unique and intense.
\nI’m attracted to what is distant and unattainable.<\/p>\n

I long, or have longed, for a soul mate or Prince or Princess Charming to come along and rescue me from an ordinary life.
\nI frequently get my partner to leave, then try to win him or her back. This push and pull creates drama and pain, keeps renewing the distance I want, and gives me the feeling that I am in control.
\nGetting close frightens me because my loved one might discover that I don’t measure up to the ideal.
\nI sometimes feel I’m not special enough to be truly loved.<\/p>\n

Social Fours:<\/strong> “Shame”<\/span>
\nShame, as we use it here, means embarrassment, humiliation, and lack of self-respect.
\nI feel ashamed of not measuring up to my vision of the ideal: not being bright or creative enough, not contributing to humanity, or not having a fulfilling relationship.
\nI die over each mistake or faux pas I make.
\nI often feel inadequate socially and either try to pour on charm and confidence or blend into the woodwork.
\nI’m always analyzing myself: Did I make myself understood? Did I sound stupid? Was I too aggressive? Was I too conciliatory?
\nI have dreams of achieving tremendous status and recognition in order to get revenge on those who have put me down or laughed at me.
\nI am very sensitive to being shamed or slighted. It devastates me to be excluded from a gathering or event that acquaintances or friends are attending.
\nSometimes I say things against myself to try to deflect envy.
\nI feel less awkward when I fill a definite position in the group by demonstrating that I’m an authority on something or by making a strong statement about who I am by the way I dress.<\/p>\n

The TYPE FOUR in Love<\/span><\/h2>\n

Living with Fours:<\/span><\/strong>
\nRemember that Fours feel that something is missing. Others have what’s missing. Focused on the quality of feeling in other people’s relationships, the Four worries: “They have it. I don’t.”
\nYou can easily be dismayed by your Four’s attraction to the distant and the unavailable, positive attention to whoever is missing: the ghostly lover, the distant friend, the unfulfilled dream.
\nCount on complex relating. Nothing is simple. Depth is the goal rather than fun.
\nExpect impatience with the “flatness” of ordinary feeling. “Surely there is more than this.” Relating is intensified by sabotage, suffering, and dramatic acts.
\nFor Fours the present seems unreal. All relating is building toward the emergence of the “real” self through the agency of love. The ultimate disclosure, the transcendent moment, the reawakening of the soul.<\/p>\n

It’s always showtime: mood, manners, luxury, and good taste as a setting for relationship. Unique self-presentation compensates for inner feelings of deprivation. The art form of keeping feelings contained. Conversational innuendo, aesthetic distance, the implication of a special glance. Relating through romantic idealization.<\/p>\n

For Fours, it’s the pursuit not the happiness that matters: a refined and bittersweet emotional sensibility. A mood of melancholy. Love is many layered and goes through many phases. The stages of letting go are unusually slow.
\nFours sweetly reminisce about people from the past and focus on lovers, experiences yet to come. Attention on present opportunities are weak and intermittent.
\nPush-pull habit of attention. The Four’s focus turns to your negative aspects when you are present and to positive aspects with the safety of distance.
\nThis way of paying attention reinforces the Four’s feelings of abandonment and loss, but also lends itself to:
\nSensitivity to your emotional states and the ability to support you when you suffer pain.<\/p>\n

Four at Work — In the Workplace<\/span><\/h2>\n

Wants distinctive work. A job that calls for creativity, even genius, an eccentric edge in presentation, a unique approach to business life.
\nMust feel respected in the workplace for personal vision and ideas.
\nEfficiency is tied to mood. Attention gets displaced from tasks when emotional life takes over. Can sabotage business life over a love affair.
\nWants to be connected to special authority, to those in the field who stand for quality rather then popularity.
\nFeels demeaned by plebeian work, the definition of which is different for every Four. Gardening can be work for plebs. So can being a CEO.
\nFeels called to emotionally intense lines of work: grief counselor, animal rights activist, the suicide hot line late at night.
\nAggressive and cutting toward competitors or peers in the same field. Attracted to successful people outside his or her own sphere of interest.
\nDoes not flourish in a work environment that requires close cooperation with others who are more skilled, more valued, or better paid.<\/p>\n

RELATED:\u00a0 An Enneagram Blog<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a>
<\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t