{"id":19596,"date":"2012-06-14T09:10:34","date_gmt":"2012-06-14T13:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=19596"},"modified":"2012-06-14T09:10:34","modified_gmt":"2012-06-14T13:10:34","slug":"fathers-day-and-he-cant-see-his-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/fathers-day-and-he-cant-see-his-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Father’s Day and he can’t see his kids"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Sunday is Father’s Day. \u00a0A friend of mine has two young children and an ex-wife who does everything she can to keep him from them. \u00a0This will be a somber Father’s Day for him. \u00a0He doesn’t have the funds to keep going back into court to file contempt orders to make her allow him visitation as ordered. \u00a0Attorneys fees have already depleted the savings and devastated the family financially. \u00a0His job is comes to a close in September. \u00a0His biggest concern right now, though, is he doesn’t know how he’ll get through Father’s Day this Sunday. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Another friend is 600 miles from his daughter, but lack of funds and reliable transportation prevent him from travelling. \u00a0She’s 12, her mother continually badmouths her father, and she is as rude and hateful as only a mis-informed 12 year old can be. \u00a0 He realizes that, for whatever reason, the situation is what it is; but his heart breaks every Father’s Day.<\/p>\n

How do you get through it? \u00a0How do you deal when everything around you shouts Father’s Day all week ahead of time, and all your friends are home with their families? \u00a0You prepare mentally.\u00a0A big part of being alone on Father’s Day and surviving has to do with preparation. Consider in advance the thoughts and feelings you will have and prepare an escape route from the worst of those feelings.<\/p>\n

Plan a full day of activities. \u00a0Stay sober and off the road. Make a list of all the projects waiting to be done and tackle a few of them. \u00a0If you’re a sports fan, stock up the man cave with goodies and treats, and settle in for the 24 hours auto racing at Le Mans or a day of basketball, Pawn Stars, or the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. \u00a0Plan a special feast for dinner, grill something yummy or watch cooking shows all day and whip up something new.<\/p>\n

Plan ahead of time a weekend of things to do to keep your mind occupied. \u00a0Maybe spend some extra time at the gym. \u00a0If you’re going to pig out all day, start with some fresh healthy snacks: dipping fresh cut veggies into a low fat dip. \u00a0Include baby carrots, apples, celery stalks with peanut butter, maybe some pita\u00a0bread cut into triangles. \u00a0If you make yourself a healthy deli tray the night before, it will be easy to grab on Sunday when you may not feel like making a sandwich.<\/p>\n

Being prepared is half the battle. \u00a0The good news is: no matter what is happening now, when your child is 18 they can begin to experience freedom. \u00a0It can be the start of an entire new relationship with them. \u00a0Plan for that as well. \u00a0What will you be like then? \u00a0What will you look like? \u00a0What work will you be doing? \u00a0How sober will you be? \u00a0How healthy will you be? \u00a0 What you do now determines those answers. \u00a0The best is yet to be.<\/p>\n

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