{"id":15889,"date":"2011-07-20T06:48:39","date_gmt":"2011-07-20T10:48:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=15889"},"modified":"2017-01-07T18:21:01","modified_gmt":"2017-01-07T23:21:01","slug":"a-friend-and-i-talk-about-dying-and-easy-transitions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-friend-and-i-talk-about-dying-and-easy-transitions\/","title":{"rendered":"A friend and I talk about dying and easy transitions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>A friend is dying. \u00a0She’s ok with it. \u00a0She’s in her 90’s, she’s had a full and active and happy life. \u00a0She has some chronic pain she’s ready to be free of, and a recent fall — and 100 extra pounds — has limited her mobility. \u00a0She says she’s\u00a0ready to drop her robes and take her final walk, to see what’s on the other side of the veil, to discover what adventures the next chapter holds. \u00a0And she’s eager for the next chapter. \u00a0So eager that we spend much time talking about it. \u00a0She knows that we attract what we focus on, so she wants to put herself in a mental place where she’s happy with where she is and yet eager to drop her body for this Earth walk. \u00a0<\/p>\n

To put her in that mental place, we talk about the people she’s loved who have passed on, and how it would be nice to see them again. \u00a0I listen to her happy memories and ask her about the favorite parts to keep her focused on what we’re doing. She knows that when she gets in the feeling vibe of being wholly with that family again, her consciousness will likely slip out of her body and she will pass in her sleep, which is her desire. “Easy, peasy, next” is how she puts it. \u00a0She’s convinced our little talks help pre-pave that easy transition, for her and for me. \u00a0I feel honored to sit and hold space for her in this way. \u00a0And who doesn’t want to die in their sleep? <\/em> Go to sleep here and wake up elsewhere in a young and healthy, clear headed and pain-free body with the chance to do it all again? \u00a0Sign me up.<\/p>\n

But of course she can’t stay in that happy, receptive mindset all the time because, surprise, there are other people to deal with. \u00a0As\u00a0Domino<\/a> puts it, now that she’s bedridden, she’s at the mercy of \u00a0whoever wants to visit her and the family is coming out in droves. \u00a0People she never met or barely recalls. \u00a0All their talk is geared toward, “when you’re back on your feet again…” I tell them I’m not an idiot and let’s talk about happy times or not at all, shall we? <\/em>She and I also do a lot of\u00a0 forgiveness and ho’oponopono<\/a> work together.<\/p>\n

Between that and the doctors, she’s frankly ready for some time to herself. \u00a0So we sit in silence together as often as we sit and talk. \u00a0I brush and braid her hair, I stroke her arms and gently massage coconut oil into her hands. \u00a0I make her favorite Sleepytime tea. \u00a0And we wait. \u00a0Happy with where we are, yet ready to depart all the same. \u00a0Ready to leave this room and step into that next room where loved ones past are waiting.<\/p>\n

When it’s my time, I wonder who I’ll attract to sit with me and braid my hair?<\/p>\n

RELATED: \u00a0My altar and healing bench techniques<\/a><\/p>\n

RELATED:\u00a0 Her perception upon dying
\nHard as it is, get used to death
\n<\/a>How to forgive and find closure if the other is unwilling, absent or dead
\n<\/a>A Friend and I Talk About Dying and Easy Transitions
\nWhy pretend loved ones aren\u2019t going to die? Let\u2019s get over the fear
\n<\/a>It’s comforting to know we get more than one lifetime<\/a><\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/a>Thich Nhat Hanh on death
\n<\/a>RELATED:\u00a0 <\/a>Rumi on Death<\/a><\/p>\n

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