{"id":9886,"date":"2010-07-27T15:20:18","date_gmt":"2010-07-27T20:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=9886"},"modified":"2022-07-11T05:49:50","modified_gmt":"2022-07-11T10:49:50","slug":"a-realistic-personal-ad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/","title":{"rendered":"A Realistic Personal Ad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/personal-ad.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-41875\" src=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/personal-ad-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"personal ad\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/personal-ad-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/personal-ad.jpg 360w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><span style=\"color: #800000;\">SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency.<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong> <span style=\"color: #000000;\">I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I can&#8217;t stand movies, and the last album I bought was <em>The Marshall Tucker Band&#8217;s Greatest Hits<\/em>.\u00a0 I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by\u00a0 affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and\u00a0 chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.\u00a0 I&#8217;m 32 but look 40 and feel 60.<\/span>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>You are:<\/strong> <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations.\u00a0 In time you will become coolly hostile when I don&#8217;t fulfill every unmet need you&#8217;ve ever had.\u00a0 Bonus points if you just finished boinking every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me. My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sh*t-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.\u00a0 I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills.\u00a0 No friendships. I don&#8217;t need any damn friends. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.\u00a0 Serious replies only, please<em>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=3059\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Online dating: E-Harmony vs. Match.com &#8212; Beware of the Scammers<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=3820\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A Fly On The Wall Of A Dating Site Hook-Up with a Scammer<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=3524\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Online dating scams; hot singles are waiting for you<\/a><\/p>\n<p>RELATED:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=31232\"> I found my old Match.com profile<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=A Realistic Personal Ad&url=http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=A%20Realistic%20Personal%20Ad&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/a-realistic-personal-ad\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency.\u00a0 I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I can&#8217;t stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band&#8217;s Greatest Hits.\u00a0 I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by\u00a0 affecting a world-weary air, memorizing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43795,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9886"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9886\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49193,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9886\/revisions\/49193"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}