{"id":8240,"date":"2010-03-30T00:52:20","date_gmt":"2010-03-30T05:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=8240"},"modified":"2014-11-04T17:37:41","modified_gmt":"2014-11-04T22:37:41","slug":"question-why-do-i-obsess-over-things-so-much-answer-you-just-need-to-replace-your-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/question-why-do-i-obsess-over-things-so-much-answer-you-just-need-to-replace-your-thoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"Question: Why Do I Obsess Over Things So Much? Answer: You Just Need to Replace Your Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"obsess\"<\/a>My friend Domino <\/a>wrote me last night: Why do I obsess over things so much!?\u00a0 My fiancee’s ex-girlfriend especially! I know it could be insecurities, but I don’t feel insecure. Ugh. I can’t get over it.. I’m so analytical. It’s aggravating.<\/em><\/p>\n

I replied: You obsess over it simply because when the thought comes, instead of thinking another thought to distract you, you run the old tape thru your head until it begins the downward spiral of thoughts for you.\u00a0 If she’s still in his life, ya gotta look at her like she’s your sister <\/a>or his, and not “his ex”.\u00a0 Right now he doesn’t still have an attraction to her, but if he senses you not liking her, he will start to feel defensive for her and have feelings to help and defend her. You can help prevent that.<\/p>\n

Domino replied: You’re so right. And I try to do that, it’s just difficult for me to stay on that track. Maybe it will come with maturity. But I can say, when I look at it that way it makes me feel much better- so I need to keep that mindset. It just helps to hear it from you. Thank you again for your help. Every little bit helps! <\/em><\/p>\n

I always like it when friends remind me of what I know at a time I need to hear it.\u00a0 I’ve learned that no matter what the problem is, it’s only a thought and I am the one who chooses which thoughts to focus on<\/em>.\u00a0 Sure, that’s easier said than done, that’s why I keep several self talk scripts<\/a> onhand.\u00a0 When my mind grabs on to something and doesn’t want to let it go, I’ve got something ready at hand to deal with it.\u00a0 Something to read over and over until it sinks in to me that I know a greater truth than the one my mind has on tape-loop and replays over and over for me.<\/p>\n

Some friends think I’m so enlightened<\/em><\/a>, and I laugh and tell them, LOL perpetuate that myth for me, ok<\/em>?\u00a0 I have many of the same thoughts every day that everyone else has in response to what I see in front of me.\u00a0 The only difference may be that I notice the thought when I have it (“that maniac is going to drive right into me!<\/em>“) and I override my automatic response with a conscious thought (“that driver is being careless, so I’ll be extra mindful<\/em>“).<\/p>\n

It’s not that the “negative” or obsessive thoughts don’t come to me anymore, it’s just that they no longer freak me out now that I know I’m the one who gets to decide how much air time to give them.<\/p>\n

And it’s not that I’m avoiding thinking about anything, it’s just that I’ve got better things to think about. I’ve got a lot of things I’m interested in, that I want to think about.\u00a0 Not just because giving conscious attention to them will help pre-pave and attract it to me, but because it’s fun to think about.\u00a0 Because I like how it makes me feel when I think about it.<\/p>\n

After all, that’s the secret<\/a>.<\/p>\n

RELATED POSTS:\u00a0 When Relationships change<\/a>
\nSimple Self Talk Scripts To Help You Attract a Better Tomorrow<\/a>
\nHow to Get Over Someone You Obsess Over<\/a><\/p>\n

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