{"id":5619,"date":"2009-11-03T04:44:04","date_gmt":"2009-11-03T09:44:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=5619"},"modified":"2014-03-31T07:04:04","modified_gmt":"2014-03-31T11:04:04","slug":"when-relationships-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/when-relationships-change\/","title":{"rendered":"When Relationships Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was talking with friends, a long ago ex-boyfriend and his wife of a dozen years. She and I joked that when she was done with him, I get him back. He said “There’s not enough therapy in the world for that to happen<\/em>.” Ah, memories…\u00a0 A friend wrote on Facebook: “The end of a marriage is no more a failure than the end of college is a failure.” I agree. I’m friends with all my exes. You just have to morph the relationship into a new shape is all.<\/p>\n

I’ve been married five times.\u00a0 Yup, 5.\u00a0 And so you don’t think I’m a complete loser, three of them died; and no, it wasn’t the mushrooms<\/a> \ud83d\ude42\u00a0 All my ex boyfriends and the husbands, we had pretty amiable breakups and remained friends.\u00a0 I learned early on that when my ex has a new mate, she’s not my competition, she’s my sister if I am to remain friends with him.\u00a0 I am not the other woman.\u00a0 I am not the ex-girlfriend.\u00a0 I am not his friend<\/em>.\u00a0 I am the friend of both of them as a couple.<\/p>\n

Just because people love each other doesn’t mean they have to live together or even be mates.\u00a0 Just because they live together doesn’t mean they have to get married.\u00a0 I think getting married simply involves the government in your finances.\u00a0 Just because they fight doesn’t mean they need to break up.\u00a0 We are so used to it having to be one extreme or the other.\u00a0 My life is not black and white.\u00a0 My life has many shades of grey and the areas often overlap.<\/p>\n

I know people who are always in some drama with a friend or a mate and someone is always on the outs.\u00a0 Even me, 3 years ago someone I thought was a best friend simply cut me off and won’t tell me why.\u00a0 A year later she cut off 4-5 more of our group as well. Life’s too short for that.\u00a0 I try to morph and go with the flow.<\/p>\n

So when my favorite spiritual brother and long ago ex-boyfriend Doug said there was not enough therapy in the world for he and I to get back together, I knew exactly how he meant it.\u00a0 He and I are the best as platonic buddies.\u00a0 In fact, when he and I split up, we looked for a piece of property that had two houses on it because we wanted to stay close.\u00a0 Something that could be easily bifurcated if one of us got a mate that didn’t like the communal idea. \u00a0 We didn’t find that, but the house down the street went on the market, so he bought it.\u00a0 It was an ideal arrangement.<\/p>\n

He soon began dating a mutual friend, which was great because we were all part of the same gang and hung around together anyway.\u00a0 It made it easy to morph the relationship to fit the circumstances.\u00a0 I didn’t lose a mate, I gained a sister.\u00a0 I gained more than that because it was such a joy to see the two of them interact together. In fact, we are so close that I married the two of them on Christmas morning half a dozen years ago, with all our family and friends present. (Wow, my mom was right, she said I’d marry Doug \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

They are truly two peas in a pod and made for each other. And it’s a good role model for me for a healthy, happy, fun and playful relationship.\u00a0 I should be so lucky<\/a>.<\/p>\n

RELATED POSTS<\/span>:
\nRelationship Or Not? Everything is Relationship<\/a>
\nLittle Girls Dream Of The Perfect Wedding<\/a>
\nGood Girls, Spiritual Seekers: Why Do We Like The Bad Boys?<\/a>
\nPop Tantra, being single and the elements of a Tantric lifestyle<\/a>
\nConscious Uncouplings, Sacred Endings: Honoring each other as intentions change
\n<\/a>How to survive changes when lovers morph into platonic friends <\/a>
\nSpeak up to break up, this is how you stay friends<\/a>
\nConscious Coupling: Having Resolved the Past is How We Stay Conscious In the Now <\/a><\/p>\n

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