{"id":33360,"date":"2013-11-04T20:39:02","date_gmt":"2013-11-05T01:39:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=33360"},"modified":"2014-12-27T07:58:42","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T12:58:42","slug":"you-want-to-heal-and-teach-tell-the-story-as-it-really-happened","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/you-want-to-heal-and-teach-tell-the-story-as-it-really-happened\/","title":{"rendered":"You want to heal and teach? Tell the story as it really happened"},"content":{"rendered":"

I already know what the spin will be. The spin will be the house was in foreclosure, the court date was coming up and everyone was moving out anyway. That doesn’t negate a year of unnecessary blowups, refusal to help when asked, not paying rent, habitually lying, disrespecting your parent in their own home, letting your girlfriend do the same and causing a massive scene of hateful words upon departure. \u00a0Living across the street, I hear more than I want to hear. He has never left a relationship honorably, not even with family. Both of them spin tales in their blogs about their journey of enlightenment, not writing about what actually goes on day by day, the real life lessons. \u00a0Yes, he acted dishonorably and won’t admit it, but she takes it to a whole new level of continued outright fabrication<\/a>.\u00a0 If it was me? If I had done that?<\/em> I’d be sorry for the hurt I’d caused. \u00a0I’d own up to what I did and recognize I did it out of a place of imbalance. I’d apologize for being unconscious and acting selfishly. \u00a0Now that’s a hot topic for a blog post – the truth about a difficult situation and how you really handled it<\/em>. \u00a0That is what teaches, that is what heals. But, since it’s not me, I don’t expect that to happen.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I’d say something like:<\/em>\u00a0“In my hurt, I knew no other way to react. I felt driven by anger. I know it’s not right but I am not in control when I get like that. \u00a0I know I’ve brought all this down on myself. I am so ready to be free of having the past hang over my head. \u00a0Forgive my lies to hide my insecurities. I’m doing the best I know how.” And then I’d write in my blog to tell my side of the story, why things went down as they did, yes even the unconscious behaviors. I’d cop to the fact that in my anger I wrote lies about people and denied their part in my life.\u00a0I’d be honest and transparent and cop to my part in it, then tell what the life lessons I learned from it were. But that’s just me. \u00a0I let everything stand on its own – no embellishment, no exaggeration, none, zero.<\/p>\n

To live your life in unnecessary battle with those closest to you and then to blog about what a healer and teacher you are isn’t who you want to be. \u00a0You want to be honest and open. You’re in a place of desperation right now because that’s your most practiced vibration.\u00a0An email I got <\/a>spurred me to write this. There is a lot of power in writing and receiving an apology, no matter how long after the fact. You don’t have to ever talk or be friends – even if it’s your own exes and children and family – \u00a0you just agree to bury the hatchet. You tell your story from your unique point of view but you do not diminish your part in what really happened. You don’t say one thing and do another. You don’t lie about what you do or don’t do. \u00a0If something bothers you, you’re honest and you cop to it.<\/p>\n

You want to be a healer and teacher? \u00a0 Then stop weaving lie after lie to justify your behavior. \u00a0Talk about real life and how you navigate the ordinary ups and downs of it, especially when it’s your day to day life with family. Habitual liars get caught in their own web.<\/a>\u00a0Tell the story as it really happened. Tell what insights you got from it. That’s\u00a0what teaches, that’s what heals. That’s how you give a peaceful ending no matter how wild the roller coaster ride<\/a>.
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\n<\/a>RELATED:\u00a0 Why people pass along entire conversations that never took place
\n<\/a>Speak up to break up, this is how you stay friends
\n<\/a>Conscious Uncouplings, Sacred Endings: Honoring each other as intentions change<\/a><\/p>\n

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