{"id":21602,"date":"2012-10-08T18:57:52","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T22:57:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=21602"},"modified":"2012-10-08T22:25:23","modified_gmt":"2012-10-09T02:25:23","slug":"how-do-i-know-when-its-really-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/how-do-i-know-when-its-really-over\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I know when it’s really over?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>In a reading last night, Domino <\/a>wanted to know if she and her ex were back together again or not. \u00a0The last time I spoke with her, they’d had a big blow up fight. He shouted at her, “That’s it, we’re over!” and he moved into a buddy’s apartment. \u00a0Since they’re in business together, they see each other every day and still sit together to chat for meals and breaks. \u00a0 “Now,” she says, “he’s acting all lovey dovey and once again refers to \u00a0her as his girlfriend, etc.”\u00a0 Domino’s question is “WTF???”
\nMy answer is “Not to worry. This happens a lot.”<\/p>\n

We cannot always teach loved ones how to communicate their feelings to us. \u00a0They may not have the words for it. They may not have had a healthy role model for it.\u00a0 Or they may simply not have enough interest in the topic of relationship — with you or at all — or just at this time. When your partner is known for being moody and having verbal outbursts, keep that in mind. \u00a0He may say something in anger he doesn’t really mean. \u00a0That was how he was brought up and it may be the only way he knows how to act and react. \u00a0Don’t take it personally.\u00a0 Don’t judge it.\u00a0 Don’t make light of it. \u00a0He’s hurt and needs something to change.\u00a0 He doesn’t know how to ask for it because he may not know what needs to change. Neither of\u00a0 you do.<\/p>\n

So my response to “Is it over or are we still together?<\/em>” is, act in each moment as you would if you were getting along well.\u00a0 Talk about everything of interest in the now. \u00a0When it feels good, spend time together. \u00a0When it feels tense, have other things to do. \u00a0\u00a0Don’t talk about relationship.\u00a0 Whatever you feel a need to put a label on automatically limits you. \u00a0If you\u00a0have to ask the question, “are we together or not,” the likely answer is no.<\/p>\n

Domino asked, she said, because she needed to know if she should begin to look for a new boyfriend. \u00a0That always struck me funny because I never felt someone was missing from my life all the years I went without a man<\/a>. \u00a0If I came across someone in my daily travels while involved in my particular interests and pursuits, someone who enlivened my interest, that was a bonus, no matter how long it took to find them and no matter how long it lasted. My pair bondings have historically lasted 3 years each.\u00a0 I’m happy when I have a partner.\u00a0 I’m happy when I am alone.<\/p>\n

To constantly be on the lookout for the next partner can be exhausting.\u00a0 Many people waste many years by waiting to do this or that until they have a partner to do it with.\u00a0 Their life goal becomes to find a partner.\u00a0 Often, during that time, they haven’t cultivated any real interests, so they don’t make themselves into an interesting partner.\u00a0 Funny how that works, isn’t it?<\/p>\n

I told Domino that as long as they are working side by side each day, what I would do is not try to get involved with anyone else while they are getting along well. \u00a0When you turn your attention to someone new, that pulls energy away from your current partner.\u00a0 If you want to work it out with them, don’t dilute the issue with someone new just yet.\u00a0 If you enjoy being with that person, even knowing it may not be long term, don’t do anything to rock the boat unnecessarily.\u00a0 Domino and her man need an easier energy flow between them, not to add unneeded confusion to the mix.<\/p>\n

Of course, if you can’t be around him without feeling ignored or neglected, don’t be around him.\u00a0 If you can’t find fun in the times you are together, mostly that’s because you keep running thoughts of past ‘stuff” through your mind.\u00a0 Don’t be around him if you can’t find the fun in it.<\/p>\n

Why do specific people come to us?<\/em>\u00a0“They are a manifestation of your vibration, every time. So they come as evidence of what you’re doing vibrationally, every time. They came because I summoned them with my practiced vibration.” \u00a0\u00a0If you are with your partner as evidence of what you’ve been habitually doing vibrationally, it stands to reason that if you’d like a change, you’ll begin doing things to vibrate in a different place yourself. That can be as simple as focusing on new topics, focusing on new people, focusing on new places. \u00a0Abraham-Hicks.com<\/a><\/p>\n

RELATED: \u00a0Be Happy or Be Out of There<\/a>
\nHow to get over a broken heart<\/a>
\nStop placing labels on it<\/a><\/p>\n

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