{"id":18803,"date":"2012-03-24T05:58:06","date_gmt":"2012-03-24T09:58:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=18803"},"modified":"2014-03-08T00:21:12","modified_gmt":"2014-03-08T05:21:12","slug":"red-flags-and-being-played","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/red-flags-and-being-played\/","title":{"rendered":"Is it Real? Red Flags and Being Played"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"In transferring files from old diskettes to cd, I found a letter from 1995. \u00a0A friend was concerned that I’d married someone I barely knew, who was now incarcerated. \u00a0Being a 12th house Aries<\/a>, I figured I was fulfilling my dharma. \u00a0He was a law office client, we were dating, a DUI conviction<\/a>\u00a0sent him back to Texas as it violated an old lifetime parole condition not to drink\u00a0alcohol. \u00a0We wrote daily letters the four years he was gone and looked forward to our real life together. \u00a0When I mentioned to a friend I was excited about Lee’s release, they said all they could see were red flags.<\/p>\n

I’d written to them, “I didn’t want you to be concerned over obvious red flags, what is odd for some people is understood by me in a different way. \u00a0Lee\u00a0and I were already in discussion about how karma works, how energy works, how things come to us, how things leave us. \u00a0We already did meditation and breathing together. \u00a0We had already begun some projects together i.e. spending time on particular topics to show him evidence of how events and circumstances and people can come to us or change their behavior around us. \u00a0And all we have to do is think along a particular line of thought with enough focus and the right focus. \u00a0Without being attached to the outcome — the hard part.<\/p>\n

We’d already begun a relationship, so when his court case came up, I told him to be prepared, it could be just the Universe playing with us, us thinking we’re attracted to each other, but it gives us the opportunity to see where our beliefs and expectations were on (relationship) issues we were both personally working on.<\/p>\n

His issues are that he knocked himself out for 20 years giving everything to a wife and son who didn’t appreciate it or him and grew up with family who criticized him, so he thinks that’s all he deserves and no one can love him for who he is. \u00a0When the money stops, their attention stops.<\/p>\n

My issue is I think personal relationships take me off my path and mission<\/a>, but it’s seldom an issue since there are very few who attract my attention. \u00a0So when it’s wrapped in a born again package, 20 years too young, replicating a lesson of several years earlier, I know the Universe is using me as a tool.<\/p>\n

As soon as I realized it, Lee and I discussed it. \u00a0I told him it didn’t matter if it was real or not, that if we were to attract a good result out of this interaction, we had to throw ourselves into it and act as if it’s real. \u00a0That means never having the conversation, “is this real,” or “will this last?”\u00a0That means maybe the Universe designed this entire set up so that he could be a captive audience to work on his stuff, with the support of a loved one he could write to and depend on to help do what can be done.<\/p>\n

We have our typical discussions but also talk about being in person with each other and are kind of navigating what that might look like.\u00a0 But my point is, do not be concerned about red flags. I am not doing something blind.\u00a0 Both Lee and I know that this could just be God’s ploy, he says sometimes he thinks I’m playing him, pretending to care about him, when all I’m doing is helping him pass the time in there without losing his mind. \u00a0He underestimates my selfishness.<\/p>\n

I like talking with him, he has relevant thoughts and insights and is undergoing a transformation I’m familiar with. He’s infatuated, as am I, so that’s nice although I know likely it’s just the kundalini moving as we do our work together. \u00a0He enlivens my mind, and when my mind is enlivened, I attract happier circumstances and that always means more income, too. \u00a0So, yes, bring it on, I will throw my whole heart into believing this is whatever I choose to think it is.<\/p>\n

And if he comes home Monday and by Thursday we’re done, then my work is finished there, and if we’re in the midst of God’s will LOL how can we not rejoice? \u00a0 \u00a0So no worries for me, my friend, truly. \u00a0I am the first one to cut, tuck and roll the second that balance arm tips too far. \u00a0And as far as I see it, either way, everyone wins. \u00a0Hugs, my brother \u00a0 Andrea”
\n### end of letter<\/p>\n

Lee died in prison awaiting a liver transplant, and release. \u00a0Rest in peace, my love. \u00a0And what’s real anyway?<\/p>\n

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