{"id":16310,"date":"2011-08-21T15:47:23","date_gmt":"2011-08-21T19:47:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=16310"},"modified":"2015-07-21T16:07:17","modified_gmt":"2015-07-21T21:07:17","slug":"how-can-you-tell-if-youre-a-sugar-mama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/how-can-you-tell-if-youre-a-sugar-mama\/","title":{"rendered":"How can you tell if you’re a Sugar Mama?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last night I had a reading<\/a> with Domino,<\/a> whom I first met in 1987. \u00a0Domino is in her mid 60’s and\u00a0was widowed in 1990. \u00a0She looks 40, she’s petite and slim and fit and she gets plenty of male attention. \u00a0Domino has always been a free spirit. \u00a0Her boyfriends are often the topic of our discussions and they definitely fit a distinct pattern. \u00a0Domino works part time and has a modest income. \u00a0Her boyfriends are always nice guys who are looking for a place to live shortly after meeting her, and they usually don’t have a steady source of income. \u00a0One former boyfriend helped her remodel her home to the tune of $26,000. \u00a0This was not money she paid him, but rather out of pocket costs for supplies and labor. \u00a0He simply lived in her home for 3 years and she paid for everything, meals, vacations, all costs. \u00a0With that one, when she finally asked him to get a job and contribute to the repayment of the second mortgage she financed the renovation with, he decided he needed his space and disappeared. \u00a0With no notice, no forwarding info. \u00a0I was glad she didn’t marry that one.<\/p>\n

Domino is kind, and generous with her gifts. \u00a0 She’s paid for dental work and cosmetic dentistry for six of her exes. \u00a0She’s made car payments for several when she could barely pay her own mortgage. \u00a0She was always paying for car repairs and even one’s gambling debts. \u00a0Twice. \u00a0Several she’s paid off traffic fines, paid for their DUI defenses and their child support. \u00a0Two she paid for schooling and education, which she learned later they took the money and did not attend. \u00a0You get the drift.<\/p>\n

Domino doesn’t feel she’s being used, she just figures it’s the type of man she attracts. \u00a0They always give her plenty of attention in the beginning and then it kind of dwindles into them just platonically sharing space, then him often being the handyman and her paying for everything. \u00a0They usually part ways when she asks them to contribute financially or, in the case of four, she catches them with another woman. \u00a0Ouch. \u00a0She doesn’t so much mind spending money when it’s on the two of them — for the shared benefit of both of them –but she doesn’t want to finance someone else’s life when it doesn’t include her. \u00a0I can dig it. ( But, hey, in my world, everyone pays for themselves…)<\/p>\n

Last year she decided she’d do things differently and get to know someone before getting involved and moving in together. \u00a0She joined an online dating service <\/a>and pretty quickly began writing to several men who expressed interest in her. \u00a0They were handsome, as their photos showed, and their profiles proved they were accomplished and successful men. \u00a0 In each case, though, as the time to meet neared, one by one they began having emergencies: emergency funds were needed for travel, for passport\/visa, for business payments. \u00a0With each, the promise that within 3 days of arrival, all will be paid back when they go together to his bank.<\/p>\n

It only took her three times to figure out she was being played. \u00a0Several times, she was able to contact other women online who had been scammed by the same man. \u00a0For one, they found 13 other women who were sending him money, each thinking they were his future bride. \u00a0Most of the emails to each woman said the same thing as if it were copied and pasted. \u00a0He used his big charming sexuality to woo them into supporting him, always dangling the carrot just a foot ahead of them, always sweet talking and pushing sexual buttons.<\/p>\n

But Domino is becoming a little more enlightened now. \u00a0Now, she’s less interested in sweet talking than she is in sweet walking. \u00a0Does the man walk softly, respectful not to intrude on her space, honoring her with integrity, is he appreciative of and interested in her time and effort expended in his behalf, is he always transparent and honest and respectful of her goals and ambitions and especially honoring their joint goals and deadlines, promises and commitments. \u00a0That’s her new criteria. \u00a0We’ll see how that goes…<\/p>\n

RELATED: \u00a0Project Husband<\/a> (the other side of the coin)
\nOnline Dating Scams; Hot Singles Are Waiting For You<\/a><\/p>\n

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