{"id":1483,"date":"2009-01-26T16:44:52","date_gmt":"2009-01-26T21:44:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/?p=1483"},"modified":"2009-01-26T16:44:52","modified_gmt":"2009-01-26T21:44:52","slug":"is-it-ok-to-break-up-with-someone-over-facebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horizonsmagazine.com\/blog\/is-it-ok-to-break-up-with-someone-over-facebook\/","title":{"rendered":"Is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monday January 26, 2009\u00a0 *ow *ow *ow OK, now both<\/em> index fingers have cuts on them, teaching me another great lesson about myself: journalling must be an addiction if I feel compelled to do it despite having to type awkwardly and painfully with bandaged fingers.\u00a0 Typing with second fingers in place of first while they heal.\u00a0 It ouches me, but not too badly.\u00a0 But the desire to express what is inside me makes the little bit of aggravation and pain worth it.\u00a0 Like the dog doesn\u2019t mind getting bugs in his teeth when he hangs his head out the window of the car – it\u2019s just so worth it to feel the wind in his laughey face.
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\nI just read an article about a woman whose husband killed her after she changed her Facebook status to single.\u00a0\u00a0 A poll at the end of the article asks: Is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook?<\/p>\n

I personally just discovered Facebook and am still discovering how it works.\u00a0 From what I can tell, though, it appears that people can have Facebook accounts and get messages there.\u00a0 They can control who is allowed to see their profile or send them messages.\u00a0 Not like just having an email address for anyone to contact you at.<\/p>\n

So, is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook? I don\u2019t think that is cool, unless you allow them to respond to you.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get real involved with the internet until 1996.\u00a0 But I love email.\u00a0 I always prefer an email over a phone call and that is not just for time saving reasons.\u00a0 It\u2019s also because when you write something down, you become more clear in exactly what it is you want to say.\u00a0 Also, it allows the reader to really pay attention and re-read so they can understand.\u00a0 On the phone, it can be a superficial conversation.\u00a0 In writing, you\u2019ll fill in the missing details.<\/p>\n

So I think it\u2019s fine to use email to discuss the evolution of a relationship, even the desire to break up.\u00a0 But I do believe everyone is entitled to an in-person exit interview if they want it.\u00a0\u00a0 If it\u2019s unexpected it can be hurtful, sure. For me, the overriding thought is \u201cI don\u2019t want to be with someone who doesn\u2019t want to be with me\u201d so I recover pretty quickly.\u00a0 If someone doesn\u2019t think I am the goddess supreme love of their life, well, then I\u2019ll take a pass.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not smoldering coals and starfire light, I don\u2019t have time for it *smile*<\/p>\n

But to break up with someone on Facebook, and block them from responding and having their say?\u00a0 That\u2019s a karma I would not care to have.\u00a0 More importantly than that, that\u2019s not in the direction I would want to place my energy at that time.\u00a0 I would want to make sure both parties felt understood and heard. Even if they disagreed and had conflicting perceptions of what happened.\u00a0 At least they felt listened to and heard, and had a chance to explain and ask questions until both felt closure.<\/p>\n

Plus that keeps both parties from having to experience the same karma all over again with their next partner\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

I’m just discovering Facebook<\/a>
\nManaging Incoming Information; What Is Facebook For? <\/a>
\nFacebook quizzes; every little bit of insight helps<\/a>
\nFacebook posts; I\u2019m in charge of what I attract <\/a>
\nFacebook friends to the rescue, helping me Excel<\/a>
\nIf a Friend Asks For $$ In Facebook, Ask A Personal Question<\/a>
\nYou Want To Be My Friend On Facebook?<\/a>
\nHow To Stop The Stupid Facebook Posts On Your Wall <\/a>
\nThe Zen of Farmville on Facebook? WTF? <\/a>
\nAre Your Facebook Friends Really Your Friends? Don\u2019t Assume Mine Are Either
\n<\/a>What I post on Facebook<\/a>
\nFinding childhood buds on Facebook, flashback to age 18<\/a>
\nPutting personal details on Facebook and Myspace<\/a>
\n<\/a>Why I like Facebook<\/a>
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

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