Yearly Archives: 2013

I polish my toenails for the first time in a decade or more

This afternoon I bought a pale pink glittery nail polish for my toes. I’m not really a girly girl. I haven’t worn nail polish for a decade or more, but I felt in a girly mood. I thought ahead and bought polish remover as well.  Now my toenails toenails pinkare all pink and glittery and they look really cute. The only problem is I forgot that nail polish has a smell.  A chemical smell.  A strong one.  I smelled it for several hours after polishing my nails. So what if it’s toxic, right? It’s pretty!  UPDATE: Not being used to the chemically smell, I found it really distracted me and dimmed down the spidey sense. Strong soaps and fragrances do that to me as well.  Good to know: no fresh mani / pedi before doing a reading!

How sweet to be remembered

How sweet that an ex has put all the personal love poems he wrote to me years ago on his blog as mystical poetry.  I love being an inspiration to connect someone to something higher than they’ve ever reached. We think we go into a relationship with one idea in mind and yet it’s really only souls searching for that higher place. Sometimes we think the physical attraction means this is our soul mate, when that is merely the fuel that keeps you involved long enough to work out karma together. The feeling of Connection that people are looking for, the exhilaration of being with someone with hearts soaring, is not a function of the person you are with, but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You. 

Connie Zweig writes, “This holy longing for something transcendant, something beyond our skin-bound individuality urges us to glimpse the divine Beloved in another human being.  It guides us to teachers who offer timeless wisdom and a direction for our devotion.  And, if we learn to hold the tension of our yearning, to honor the restlessness of the soul rather than resist it, our holy longing points the way home.” If we don’t learn, then we pretend those people and events never happened in our lives and we don’t bless them for bringing us to where we are.  

Thank you, no matter how you showed up in my life. Whether you pushed me or pulled me, drained me or fueled me, loved me or left me, hurt me or helped me, you are part of my growth and no kidding, I love you and thank you for it.

Kundalini Management 101
The Chakras, a 101 Primer
Sexuality on the Spiritual Path

I can’t believe I’ve been doing the magazine for 22 years

I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for 22 years. I just finished updating my Google calendar with the 2014  Horizons Magazine publication and delivery schedule. It’s the first time I’ve use Google Calendar’s feature to repeat an event monthly.  Using it to schedule the print job (and daily jobs leading up to it) filled the 2014 calendar so quickly it kinda freaked me out.  Something about future commitment always kinda freaks me out at first. It feels like something that might pin me in.  Whether that’s emotional immaturity or just disconnection in the moment, it’s something I talk my way through. I used to never stay at a job (or relationship) longer than 2.5 to 3 years. I discovered why that was when I learned that’s the time it takes the planet Saturn to move through one house or one sign. I’m not known for long commitments. So when I have the same job for 22 years, that’s a BFD to me. Maybe it’s just a sign of my maturity.  Stop laughing.  Anyway, it’s been my honor and I’m ready to schedule another 22.

A lesson from transitting Saturn

Kudos for the one who can keep up with me: best bf ever

best bf trophy copyI’ve got an odd schedule. I’m self employed but work several “jobs.” I publish the magazine, I do psychic readings and astrology reports , I script and record self hypnosis mp3 files for myself and others, I create websites, I do contract work writing and editing. This keeps me sleeping at odd hours and doesn’t leave much time for long periods of socializing. In the past, my mates’ most typical complaint: I was a workaholic with little time for them.  They were not incorrect.  I’ve always felt mission oriented. My work was never just a 9-5 job, even as a criminal defense paralegal for 22 years.  I also lived monastically for many years and got used to living in a lot of silence and solitude. That’s a comfortable and fulfilling place for me.  I realize in retrospect I’ve never been a relationship type of person.  I realize now I just hadn’t met the right one. Continue reading

It hurts when lies begin unravelling and we’re left naked with the Truth

Unravelling 72Domino is seeing the fabric of what she thought was her life unravel as she discovers deeper truths about a friend.  Learning the truth is hurtful. She feels naked and exposed and betrayed, yet she’s built up such a story line with family, friends, children that she can’t now go to them with the truth. She tied her future and income to this person. Now she feels alone yet unable to share her pain.  I’ve learned that when you cloak yourself with lies, it is a false security you have woven. It is only when the lies drop away and you stand unafraid to embrace the naked Truth that there is true freedom.  Those who don’t honor you enough to be truthful, especially if they discuss the importance of being truthful, are hiding a great pain. It’s the only way they know how to live. When you find it is no different with you, embrace that Truth and decide how long you will continue to wear the emperor’s new clothes. Bless those who expose the false security for they hand you the key to freedom.

Mentally strong people, the 13 things they avoid

Read the article at Forbes, Inc. Here’s what they DON’T do:
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
2. Give Away Their Power.
3. Shy Away from Change.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
7. Dwell on the Past.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
9. Resent Other People’s Success.
10. Give Up After Failure.
11. Fear Alone Time.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
13. Expect Immediate Results.

Pain is caused, not when a troublesome thought surfaces, but by your conscious choice to follow the troublesome thought and re-activate your pain by staying on the topic with friends

Stop being ticked at the one you think stole your happiness.  They didn’t have that much power over you until you gave them power by your repeated thoughts and words. They were just a passing blip on the screen of your life. You would be on to happier times by now if you’d stop thinking of all the times they were mean to you. They were mean before and now they’re gone so it’s over, but you have carried that thought around, reactivating it daily for weeks, months, years. If you didn’t have it repeating in the background of your thoughts over and over like a broken record, you would be long past it and on to your better life.  It’s not what THEY did THEN that is causing you pain NOW. It is your own repeated thoughts and staying on the topic with friends. Continue reading

My lack of social activism on environmental issues is not “unloving”

I apologize to anyone who sees my lack of social activism on environmental issues as “unloving,” I am busy working several jobs to feed and clothe and house loved ones in my immediate environment. Not everyone has the luxury of time to be active in all worthy local causes. I do what I can with what I have. In all fairness, when friends want me to write a protest letter to the government,  I ask them to please write the letter for me that all I would have to do is sign if I agree. That’s why I send return envelopes with invoices: to make it easy for someone to do what I’m asking them to do, since they are likely as busy as I am.  I work up to 18 hours a day and don’t have time to familiarize myself with issues they are immersed in.  They know much more about it than I do.  The issue is right in front of them, not me. I pay attention to what is right in front of me. What is in front of me is mine to do. What is in front of you is yours to do.  If you want my help in attending to your priority, please make it easy for me.

Exchange Club Yellow Umbrella needs Secret Santas!

Yellow Umbrella Logo_mediumExchange Club Yellow Umbrella is looking for people to adopt Christmas Angel Wishes and need to supply over 60,000 toys to Brevard’s needy children.  They need lots of Secret Santa’s!  Any help you can give would be appreciated, plus being able to send huge blessings to everyone in this season of great joy and love.  Call  321-951-7179 in Palm Bay and in Cocoa call 321-433-3570.  You can also help Exchange Club Yellow Umbrella automatically every time you web search.